Mind- A Crisis of Confidence for Masters of the Universe - NY Times

One good thing to come out of the current economic situation is the thinking about work related psychological and emotional issues that have always been around but not of great interest. Many people prefer to avoid thinking about the issues described by Richard A. Friedman in Mind - A Crisis of Confidence for Masters of the Universe but now it seems that it's touched so many lives that people are talking about it - out loud.

I stress "out loud" because these are issues that I/we've been dealing with for years here at DLC Executive and Career Consulting.
Things happen professionally and it can and often does affect a person's professional identity, emotional state, psychological state, interpersonal relationships, interests, goals and on and on.

It doesn't have to be fatal. The best thing a person can do is to reach out and ask for help as Dr. Friedman describes his patient doing - and as we've seen here. There are people trained to help, wanting to help and available to help but they/we can't help you unless you want it. So the first step is to reach out and get the help. Wherever and however you can. It's not worth getting physically sick over.

One thing though - I don't like the way Dr. Friedman asked if it's a gender based problem. The question is a problem in and of itself. Career identities and issues are not gender specific - to answer his question.

Anyway - you're not alone and you certainly don't have to be. If you're having difficulty dealing with the situation on your own and it's hard to see clearly through the fog and distress - reach out.

Good luck and have a good day,
Rebecca "Kiki"
**********************
Rebecca "Kiki" Weingarten
DLC Executive and Career Consulting
For more information call 646.468.0608

Starting Over, With a Second Career Goal - NY Times

Terrific article about second careers and a new program at Harvard read it here - Starting Over, With a Second Career Goal of Changing Society. What makes me especially thrilled about all of this is that it's what I've been working on for the last couple of....how long has it been? And I'm really glad that now that there's critical mass with the Boomers starting to do it. Well, as the Boomers go so goes the nation.

As with many things I found myself ahead of the times which is difficult in its own right but so be it. Although I'm not near retirement age and quite frankly don't imagine I'll ever retire - I'll just keep going until the very end - it's something I've given a lot of thought to since I first began working. As early as 21 when I first worked with people who were near retirement or who had retired and I didn't like what I saw. Most floundered, some absolutely fell apart, some became severely depressed, some floundered and then found the next stage in their lives. They were all blindsided by the experience and the psychological as well as social and professional identity shifts that they experienced. One of my great role models is a mentor who is working at 91! She's in her second very successful career and she maintains that her longevity is due to her continued working!

I've been leading trainings, seminars and workshops on Second Career, Transitions and ACT II topics for a while now and I have to say it's some of my most gratifying work.I even mention it when working with college students because the world of work is a very different one for them than for any generation before them. I guess it's a lot like my very first job of teaching young children how to adapt and flourish in a new environment - shcool. I guess this would be teaching Early Second Careers. It's a new beginning - a new way of experiencing the world. I love it. And I'm glad that finally the world is catching up. Whew!

Enjoy the day and think of a positive and wonderful future because it's available to you if you want it - and of course work toward it.
RK
Rebecca "Kiki"
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DLC Executive and Career Consulting
646.468.0608

Intensive Career and Executive Coaching - from Daily Life Consulting Executive Coaching and Counseling

Hi,

Short term and intensive coaching. Some good news at a time when it feels like we're being bombarded with only bad news.

For those of you who have requested it (and those of you thinking about it) we've set up a new "economic crisis" coaching system. It includes;

*One 1 1/2 (one and a half) hour phone coaching session
*E-mail follow-up
*Resume review
*Strategy planning

Call 646.468.0608 for more information or email at 411 at dlcecc dot com.

RK
**************
Rebecca "Kiki" Weingarten
DLC Executive Coaching and Counseling

Economic/Job/Career Crisis Coaching Package + DLCECC.com

Hi -
Dare I ask how you are? It's been hectic here with what's going on out there. In order to streamline the coaching process for some of you who would like a bit of a boost we've developed an Economic/Job/Career Crisis Coaching package. We've also spun off the Executive/Career Coaching and Counseling part of Daily Life Consulting into its own entity - DLCECC (Daily Life Consulting Executive Coaching and Counseling).

It's great for you if you;

* Lost your job and are looking for a new one.
* Your company firm is laying off people and you're there doing double and triple duty.
* You're concerned that you might be laid off.
* You'd like to explore other career paths.
* You have to delay your retirement plans indefinitely and need a new plan.
* You need to develop a new income stream.
* You've been laid off and want to start over in a new field.
* You figure this is the perfect time to explore career options you deferred on.
* You're making a career transition or shift and need help doing it successfully.
* You need help managing the stress of your work life along with financial stresses.
* You need to develop a new spending and doing-more-with-less plan for yourself and/or your family.

What does it include?

* Two(2) to four(4) phone coaching sessions (depending on topic and need).
* An action plan to follow.
* Resume review.
* Coaching follow-up.

For more information on crisis coaching prices, plans and options please email us at 411 at dlcecc dot com or phone 646.468.0608

Call or email - we're here for you,
Kiki
Short Term Coaching
Long Term Solutions
DLCECC

How To Make A Spending Plan - Marketwatch.com

Great article about making a spending plan. Step 1 is to change the word budget to the phrase spending plan and then take it from there.

Check out the complete article by Jeff D. Opdyke How To Make A Spending Plan

Vote!!!!

Enjoy the day your way,
Kiki
***************
Daily Life Consulting
Short Term Coaching
Long Term Solutions

Use the Economic Crisis as a Personal and Professional Opportunity

Hi All

So it feels like it's all bad news all the time. Right? Not necessarily. With challenge comes opportunity and we've been working with all of you to find the silver lining behind the cloud and all the other cliche type metaphors for turning a difficult and ________ (scary, terrifying, debilitating, paralyzing - fill in the blank) situation into new options, beginnings, opportunities and plans for getting through the present and planning for a great future.

If I sound ridiculously optimistic it's an optimism and sureness born of personal and professional experience. I've gone through tough times and career forks-in-the-road and flourished and have been furtunate enough to be able to assist others to do the same. So it may all sound Pollyanna-ish or Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm-ish - both of which I've been called before but it's based on fact and experience. You can get through this successfully.

In answer to your emails and phone calls requesting information about our services here's a short description of some of the services we offer to individuals and companies. From career coaching and counseling for individuals and groups to business services such as once monthly or weekly 'open' days where individuals, executives, project managers and their teams can in complete confidentiality work with one of our coaches to help smooth through their challenging work issues and move forward with their project work.


Daily Life Consulting
Short Term Coaching Long Term Solutions
services and issues covered include:
* Training, Seminars, Workshops, Individual and Group Coaching
* Boosting Morale
* Focusing and Multitasking
* Dealing with new and/or more responsibilities
* Motivation
* Transitions - within a company or after downsizing and restructuring
* New economic realities - managing anxiety, strategizing and planning ahead
* Coping with economic stress in healthful ways
* Rethinking Career Direction and Plan
* Rethinking Retirement Options
* Second Career or Mid-Career shifts
* Short term and long term planning


We've been featured in national publications including Forbes, the LA Times, Pink, Chicago Sun Times, Dow Jones/Marketwatch, MSN, WebMD, Yahoo/HotJobs and many others.

For those of you we know and love - keep up the great work! You will get through this and you'll get through this successfully! We'll make sure of that!

For those of you we've only "met" through email and phone queries - we look forward to working together soon. If you have any more questions please call 646.468.0608 or email coach at dailylifeconsulting dot com

We're ready for you - are you ready for your new future? (The great and exciting one that is...)

Enjoy the weekend,
Kiki
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Daily Life Consulting

Short Term Coaching
Long Term Solutions

Motivation and Transition Coaching

Hi All,

No - I couldn't believe the last time I posted here! It's been a crazy time. The economy is causing lots of anxiety, distress and the need for change, new strategies, motivation, morale boosters, new directions, new career and life maps for the new directions and on and on.

We've been swamped here at Daily Life Consulting with clients, workshops, seminars and training programs. So the workbook series has taken a back seat to the immediate needs of clients. Whew!

Keep the emails coming. If you'd like more information or to speak to a coach please call 646.468,0608 or email coach at dailylifeconsulting dot com

Don't panic! Help and support are available. We'll get through this. We'll get through this successfully.

Enjoy (as much as you can of) the day,
Kiki
**************

Fall News + http://www.savelorishouse.com

Massive apologies to those of you who've been requesting your "fix". It's been quite hectic as it usually is in September. Keep your emails coming and please give me/us a little more time to answer than we would normally need. You should hear from someone within 24 hours (except over the weekends). You can always call at 646.468.0608!

Ok - so workshops and seminars moving right along. We're adding a new one for October that will focus on managing stress and work and actually flourishing with all the gloomy financial news that's hitting us from all sides.

15-minute coaching phone calls are proving to be a great tool for many of you. Checking in, brainstorming, focusing, preparing for meetings, follow-ups to meetings and more. Glad you're liking it and finding it helpful and empowering!

Also - please check out Save Lori's House
and lend a hand. Lori is a single mother who has been stricken with ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease). People from all over the world are pitching in to help, Ben Lee has lent his song "We're All In This Together". We are. Please help if you can.

Enjoy the day your way,
RK
Rebecca "Kiki"
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Rebecca "Kiki" Weingarten
Daily Life Consulting

Fall Preview

Hi All!

We're back...ish. Sessions continue with a bit of a break for some end-of-summer R&R. We're also getting in gear for the workshops and seminars and new projects that will be beginning in September.

We'll be offering some of the coaching topics as online workshops and seminars as well. Topics such as Career Transitions, Pre-Retirement Planning, Stress Management, Time Management, ME FIRST(sm), Finding Focus, Creativity Boosters and more. So for those of you who've been asking about them - you've got it. We'll be sending out emails with information - and keep checking back here for more details.

Stuck? Stressed? Overwhelmed? Not sure what to do? Can't wait until your next session or workshop? Need help fast/now/in a flash? We're starting something new as of next week - check out Coaching Phone Calls. 15 minute coaching! It's not meant to "solve all your problems" in one 15 minute coaching interaction. It's for those times that you need a quick dose, before or after an important meeting or interview, brainstorming a new concept, project or change, an interaction with your employees or your boss. It's a boost to get you to the next step, or session, or just to help you get through. For more information call 646.468.0608 or email me at kiki at dailylifeconsulting dot com.

Meanwhile - we're going to enjoy the first stunning day of "summer in the city". Enjoy the day your way,
RK
************
Rebecca "Kiki" Weingarten
Daily Life Consulting

Updates - (what we've been up to since we've been AWOL from posting)

Ok - we're here but sort-of-ish here. That means we've been busy doing what we always do coaching, workshops, seminars, webinars....ok a little R&R too and not too much blogosphere.
What we have been doing is working on the new projects for the Fall. I am so excited, I love all this stuff and I'm excited about the new projects to come.
In short;
* We'll be devoting one blog to your Q&A. The Motivation and Transition Coaching blog
will be the place to go to for asking, and getting answers to your questions about anything and everything motivation and transition related. If you'd like to see your questions answered on the blog please email motivateme at motivationandtransitioncoaching dot com. Can't wait to hear from you!

We've also been working on setting up workshops, seminars and classes online. Over the years we've been getting lots of requests for them to be online and now we're going to be doing it. Stay tuned for more info.

We'll be posting the schedule for the Fall workshops, seminars and classes in August. If you have a topic you'd like to see covered please email me at kiki at dailylifeconsulting dot com and I'll see when we can fit it in.

Topics that will be covered are career choices, career transitions, career and practice shifts, exploring new options, stress management, time management, creativity, finding focus, etherthink and more. Our education and parenting workshops will include learning skills, school skills, reading-writing and comprehension, competition skills, children on overload, parenting skills and helping children succeed and sometimes fail successfully, enhancing creativity in children, helping children become life-long learners. You can visit http://dailylifecoaching4kids.blogspot.com for more information or email me at kiki at dailylifeconsulting dot com

Enjoy the summer - I don't know how hot it is where you are but we're scorching over here in NYC. Argh.

Enjoy the day your way,
Rebecca "Kiki"
Daily Life Consulting

Follow-Up What Do You Want To Do in Act II?

Thanks to ASTD and everyone who participated in the What Do You Want To Do In ACT II? Webinar on Thursday, July 24th.
Thanks everyone for your terrific questions and kind emails! The questions you sent in are a bit too complex to do justice to with a brief few-line answer. I answered in general and they'll be posted on the ASTD site soon.

Of course, being a Career and Transition Coach, would suggest working with a coach to really flesh out a solid, fulfilling and enjoyable ACT II. It’s a great new ACT for a new stage of life. Lights, camera – take action and make it the best it can be. You deserve it. You’ve worked hard your whole life it’s time to reap the benefits and make the most of this great, new exciting ACT II.
Take center stage in this next phase! Wishing you all great good luck and lots of years to flourish and have fun in ACT II.

Rebecca "Kiki"
Daily Life Consulting

What Do You Want To Do In Act II? American Society for Training and Development + In Act 2 of Life Doing What Matters (NY Times)

The American Society for Training and Development magazine's July issue features a terrific article by Paula Ketter Are You Ready for ACT II? It was my great pleasure to speak with Paula about the different ways to prepare for a new lifestyle after retirement.

I am so excited to be continuing to explore this topic with ASTD.org. On July 24th, with ASTD, I'll be doing a seminar “What Do You Want to Do in Act II?” will offer some thoughts, ideas and tips on making the transition from your conventional work life to whatever form of retirement you're planning on having, followed by a Q&A session. Judging by my clients I think we're going to have to retire the word retire and come up with another way of describing the kinds of ACT IIs that people are having. Stay tuned for more details on the seminar.

On a very related note, I was happy to see Jane Brody writing about the same issues in her column in yesterday's NY Times In Act 2 of Life, Doing Work That Matters
As always, her article was informative and loaded with information.

Retirement isn't what it used to be. It's a new stage of life with lots of OPTIONS and as many ways to approach it as there are people approaching it.

Using the work I've done with clients, research and my experience as a Program Developer and Trainer I've developed the OPTIONS(sm) system for planning for ACT II which I'll be talking about in more detail on July 24th with ASTD. I'm very much looking forward to it. Some of my greatest work inspirations have come from personal mentors who have made fantastic ACT II shifts. Although I'm at a different stage in my work life the lessons I've learned from them and my clients gives me a great perspective on transitions, and new beginnings. I look forward to sharing my experiences with them, my clients and the research that's being done on this exciting new way to embrace Act II (the stage previously known as retirement - maybe we should just call it !!

Please email or call form more info - I will be posting more about it here as well.

Enjoy the day your way!
Rebecca "Kiki"
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Daily Life Consulting
For more information on individual or group coaching, seminars, workshops, strategy development sessions, trainings or programs for your organization please call 646.468.0608 or email me at coach at dailylifeconsulting dot com or Eva Harris at eva at shoutoutpr dot com

The Dramatic Mind - Quick Response

Hey all of you who feel neglected by The Dramatic Mind - I think we'll have to shoot for September for that one - but in the meantime here are a couple of quick answers to some requests for reading recs for some interesting and fun summer reading. This is for you J and B - who have been emailing since the end of June for books to take along on vaca! Get ready for the fall workshops - they're going to be fun!!

Meanwhile - for any movie lovers who feel a bit guilty indulging quite as much as they do - keep indulging! Read this article and head thee to the movies! Love this article - thanks C.R. for emailing it to me.
It's from Media Life Magazine and it's Revealed: Secret Life of Moviegoers.


*For F and G who wanted books that tell about the other side of the movie business, the one you don't read about in Script Magazine check out these books about the film business -

*Bambi vs. Godzilla On the Nature, Purpose, and Practice of the Movie Business by David Mamet

*Hello, He Lied and Other Tales from the Hollywood Trenches by Lynda Obst

*Which Lie Did I Tell? and Adventures in the Screen Trade by William Goldman

*Z check out Writing in Flow by Susan Perry I think it might have some of the material you're looking for.

*A.N. thanks for the rec for Wanted. It was as you said. The editing was terrific and the story, when taken as a comic book one lots of fun. A bit of gore but comic booky as well.

*I've heard that The Playwright as Thinker: A Study of Drama in Modern Times by Eric Bentley is powerful and will be starting that one as soon as I get it (I couldn't find it in any bookstore in Manhattan so so much for an impulse-read-this-minute but it is available at Amazon) I love anything I've ever read by Bentley so am totally looking forward to this one as well.

As for the other side of creativity - the where it lives and comes from and why we can't always access it when and how we'd like... well, I'll post those later this was strictly some quick answers to some specific questions. Let me know what you think of the books or any recs you may have - I love 'em!

Enjoy!
RK
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Daily Life Consulting

Age of Riches - Challenges of $600-a-Session Patients - NY Times

The question "what do you think?" is usually a loaded question for me because I usually have a number of thoughts and opinions, sometimes contradicting, on issues.
So to J, M, C, and R who emailed me links to the article in the New York Times
Age of Riches - Challenges of $600-a-Session Patients morning with the question
"what do you think and how does it relate to coaching?" I say "I think a couple of things".

*The first thing I'll say is that therapy is not coaching, coaching is not therapy and coaching shouldn't be a substitute for therapy, if therapy is needed and therapy shouldn't take the place of coaching if coaching is needed. The article was about therapy so I will only address my thoughts to general ones about topics in the article that you had questions about.

*The second thing I have to say is that I'm a firm believer in getting any kind of assistance one needs in order to have the most satisfying life possible. That assistance could be coaching, therapy, whatever it is that's necessary.

*The third thing I'll say is that each individual regardless of their circumstance brings individual issues into a coaching relationship.

*Moving on to the fourth thing I had a problem with some of the language in the article. Whenever it's a group of people with one thing in common....well, it sets up generalities that actually relate to many people.

*I don't think "in it to win" is a negative description (that one's for J). That's a personal thought and of course it depends on the situation. I do believe in, and work with my clients to achieve, a level of enjoyment and satisfaction from working toward goals and achieving goals.

*I think that people working with coaches or therapists will probably know more about their area of expertise than their coach or therapist (unless they happen to be in the same field and even then....) (that one is for M). I've worked with people in finance, the music industry and musicians, business, the arts, writers, directors, producers, people in sales, marketing, doctors, lawyers, government officials and agencies, educators, scientists, students, grad applicants and on and on. In each case I learned about the person's area of expertise even if it was an area I was trained or involved in. That's one of the great things about working with people in different fields - the things you learn.


*Being aware of life, mortality and legacy can work to assist people in really defining and focusing on what they find meaningful in their lives and how they want to move forward. (That one's for you R)

C and the rest of the emailers who have lots of questions. I hope I addressed some of them here and the rest we'll figure out later.

Enjoy the day your way,
Rebecca Kiki
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Daily Life Consulting
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For more info on coaching or programs please call 646.468.0608 or email coach at dailylifeconsulting dot com

Motivation and Transition Coaching + Starbucks

Who knew so many of you were at your computers yesterday? Thanks for the emails and texts and thanks even for the kind words about orneriness (is that a word?) - I guess there is a time and place for everything. Moving right along I will say that I am feeling blog-casual this week - I guess I'm having casual-blogdays so I'll just put a couple of thoughts into this one blog and call it a hot-humid-Wednesday-in-the-city day.


Motivation and Transition Coaching This blog (Kick-Start Self Coaching) will soon be renamed "Motivation and Transition Coaching"
since that's what most of the content here has been. We'll be finding new ether-homes for the other topic areas including EtherThink and the others.

Creativity and Writing Coaching information will be on a soon-to-be-launched blog/site called "The Dramatic Mind" (I'm a dramatist by training and personality - what can I say?).

Workshops and Seminars will continue for all the topic areas in the fall, along with Daily Life Coaching 4 Kids workshops, seminars and groups. I'm putting together some really exciting programs and materials and I am really really excited about it.

In response to some of your questions about the materials - short answer - Yes! The materials provided are proprietary. As a program developer and educator by training and experience they are based on the work I do with clients, along with new and emerging research in all the fields covered.

In addition, this coming year we will begin coach and program training for people in the field (coaches, teachers, therapists, trainers, educators, facilitators) who would like some additional training in ME FIRST(TM) Coaching, FINDING FOCUS(TM) and Transition Coaching. I will also be offering Coaching Workshops on Burnout and Stress, two areas that are coming up a great deal lately.

Speaking of workplace stress and transitions. To all Starbucks employees who are being shifted, downsized, laid off or any other term you'd like to use - I'd like to offer some assistance in the way of a quick-pick-me-up. Since you've provided us with the energy to get through some awful mornings/times I'd like to return the favor. A quick-pick-me-up coaching session to help you get back on your feet. Please contact us at coach at dailylifeconsulting (please put "Starbucks" in the subject line) and receive one Grande-Moving-Forward Coaching session for $25.00. Whether you're there part-time, full-time, first job, transition-job, retirement job, writing the great american novel job or love-the-smell-of-fresh-brewed-coffee job you're eligible.

So everyone. Onward and upward as I always say. And of course....
Enjoy the day your way,
Rebecca (Kiki)
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Daily Life Consulting
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For more information about individual coaching, groups, workshops, seminars or talks, workshops and materials for your corporation, business or networking group please call 646.468.0608 or email coach at dailylifeconsulting dot com

Summer in the City + HopStop.com, AAA and Travel Agent approach to Coaching

Confession time. I love summer in the city. Not that I love the city in the summer. I just love how the city empties out. I'm figuring I can be a bit ornery here today since so many of you have skipped town for the week. Thanks. Here's how it is for me. I love the country, mountains, nature, trees, the outdoors, and all the rest of it. It might be because I'm originally from Vermont - I'm New English - or because I spent three months a year in the mountains every year from the time that I was zero until college. Or, I just love it. I prefer being outdoors to being indoors anytime. Whatever the case may be (again - I'm taking liberties here today because I figure most of you are on vaca) so what I try and do is make sure that I get to spend as much of every day as possible outside. I also love the city - I love the culture, the energy, the opportunities, but I can't stand it when it's too too crowded which is.....always. So what do I do? I stick around the city when everyone packs out and crowds the country and shore and I head out to the country and shore when everyone comes back.

So the thing is that different people like different things different ways, which is really the point of my work and my approach to it. What is it that you like? Want? How do you want it? What's the best way for you to get it? I had a terrific conversation yesterday with the wonderful writer/person/parent Gina Roberts-Grey and we talked about lots of things including the ins and outs of coaching for an article she's working on. (Check out her work and articles - you'll learn a lot!)

I tried to explain my approach to working with people and the different kinds of coaching different people need. With some clients it's the HopStop.com approach. Where are you? Where do you want to go? How much do you want to use transportation and how much are you willing to walk? The person knows where they are and where they want to get to, they just need some assistance with the logistics. So we map out a route and take it from there.

With some clients it's more of the AAA (American Automobile Association) approach. I'm here and I'd like to travel to there but I need a roadmap, some places along the way to stop, figure out the most scenic/quickest/fill in the ________ route. Should I use my car? Should I drive part of the way and take the train? Should I fly and ride? Should I rent a car at my destination? All of the details about the best way to do it for what the person would like.

With some clients it's more of the travel agent approach. Hmmmm, I know I need to get out of town but I have no idea where I'd like to go! Do I want a hot climate? Cold? How do I want to get there? How long do I want it to take? These are all the questions that come into play. That takes longer.

So the short answer to "what kind of coaching is best/would work for me/do I need?" is that it depends on what you want and what the best way is for you to get it.

Enjoy the day, wherever you are!!!!!!
Rebecca Kiki
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Daily Life Consulting
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For more information on individual or group coaching, workshops, seminars or coaching/education materials for your group or corporation (or just to say hi!) call 646.468.0608 or email me at coach at dailylifeconsulting.com

Eyes Bloodshot, Doctors Vent Their Discontent - NY Times

Thanks Mark for emailing the article to me. I told you you're not alone!
Great article in today's NY Times Eyes Bloodshot, Doctors Vent Their Discontent . The title says it all.

For all those doctors out there, and those of you working with me, like I said to Mark you are not alone in your feelings of frustration, discontent (and on and on). The good news is that you can make changes in your lives. It doesn't mean "giving up" and it doesn't mean "failure" or a host of other words with negative connotations. It means change.

Quick Start Questions for today/this week;
* What is working? (besides you...)
* What isn't working? (besides everything else...)
* What do you see as obstacles to making changes?
* How badly do you want to make a change?
* What are you willing to do in order to make the change?

Feel free to send me your thoughts and concerns at kiki at dailylifeconsulting dot com.

Enjoy the day your way (start writing your own prescription for that!)
Rebecca (Kiki)
Daily Life Consulting
For more information on coaching, workshops, seminars, classes and materials for your group or company please call 646.468.0608 or email coach at dailylifeconsulting dot com

Moving Out of the Midcareer Morass - Yahoo HotJobs

Yes. I'm here. May and June are loaded with workshops, seminars and groups (and new graduates!) so there's been less time for blog posts. Miss you though and thanks for the emails! I hope to be back to "regular" blogging soon. In the meantime -

Great article in Yahoo! HotJobs by Robert DiGiacomo Moving Out of the Midcareer Morass. Many of you are going through this particular situation now and although not easy or pleasant it can be a great turning point. In our work together many of you choose to use the circumstance as an opportunity. A way to change your life around for the better and to find a new direction, or rediscover a path not taken but wished for. I spoke with Rob about the particular issues facing midcareer job searchers. He asked great questions, has some great insights and thoughts, and wrote a terrific article about the topic.

Enjoy the day your way,
RK
Rebecca Kiki Weingarten M.Sc.Ed, MFA
Daily Life Consulting
For more information on coaching, workshops, seminars,groups and student rates call 646.468.0608
or email coach at dailylifeconsulting dot com

2-Session Turnaround (TM) Coaching

Many of you have been asking about our new 2-Session Turnaround(TM) Coaching What is it? How does it work? What's involved? What kinds of issues could I use it for?

I've also gotten questions about how and why I developed the 2-Session Turnaround(TM)Coaching Program. I'll answer that one first. In short - I wish I would have had this option when I was going through all the different phases of my career(s). If you read the topics I've included below I can tell you that I've gone through all of them myself. I've transitioned voluntarily and involuntarily. I've loved my work so much that I could barely sleep at night because I was so excited about the day to come. I've hated my work so much that there wasn't any amount of caffeine and sleep that could help me feel energized. I've loved some work situations but really couldn't stand the work environment. I've loved some work environments but couldn't stand the work involved. I've loved some bosses and really disliked others. I've loved some employees and really disliked others. I've been so burned out I was toast. I've been stressed. I've been unfocused. I've found focus. I've had to learn how to blend my creative life into the other parts of my life. I've had to learn how to manage work and life and synthesize the two to make life all it can be.

In short I've been there. Wherever. So when I work with clients and they talk about an issue, chances are there's a secret language and shorthand that we share. I've been there and worked through it. Now I want to help others do the same. As many people as I can because there is just no reason to feel miserable about work. There are too many other things in our lives that we can't control, why add to it?

I used my experience, my training in different areas and my skills as a program developer to develop the kinds of programs I wished I'd had when I needed them, and when I might need them in the future.

Make your life the best life it can be.

So here is some general information and if you'd like more details or information please feel free to call me at 646.468.0608 or email coach@dailylifeconsulting.com using "2-Session Turnaround" in the subject line.

Question:What is 2-Session Turnaround(TM) Coaching

Answer: 2-Session Turnaround(TM) Coaching is a very short term coaching solution to help you find some answers, direction, strategies and figure out what to do next.

Question: What kinds of issues could I work on in 2-Session Turnaround(TM) Coaching?

Answer: You name it!
Transitions - If you're making a job change for any reason whether voluntary or not, or if you'd like to explore options for making a change Transition Turnaround is for you.
Career and Work Choices and Shifts
Burnout
Stress Management
Time Management
Finding Focus - What do I want to be doing?
What Next? Are you at a crossroad in your life? Have you accomplished a goal and aren't sure what to do next? Are you contemplating the next phase of your career but aren't sure what that might be?
Creativity (Productivity and Blocks)
Writing (Productivity and Blocks)
ME FIRST (TM) Coaching
Work-Life Balance and Symmetry
Career and Focus Transitions for Writers
Career and Practice Transitions for Attorneys
Career and Practice Transitions for Doctors
Character and Script Analysis and Development
Question: How Does It Work?

Answer: 2-Session Turnaround(TM) Coaching takes place over the course of a month and works like this. It's very simple and straightforward.

*1 Coaching Session to begin the process.
*Follow-Up materials which match the area you're Turning Around.
*Email Communication available during weekday business hours for the two weeks until the next coaching session. These can be for questions, clarifications, yelps, "I did it!", "it worked!" or whatever you wish to communicate.
*2nd Coaching Session.
*More Follow-up Materials and Action Plan.
*Email Communication available during weekday business hours for the two weeks until the next coaching session. These can be for questions, clarifications, yelps, "I did it!", "it worked!" or whatever else you might wish to communicate.
*15 Minute Coaching follow-up session.

Very simple. 2-Session Turnaround(TM) Coaching gives you a chance to do just that. Find direction, discuss options with an objective, trained coach, discover new strategies and move ahead confidently. Please feel free to call or email with any questions or comments. (p)646.458.0608 or (e) coach at daily life consulting dot com (2-Session Turnaround in the subject line).

Enjoy the day your way,
RK
Rebecca Kiki Weingarten M.Sc.Ed, MFA
Daily Life Consulting

Spring/Summer Workshops and Seminars

This May and June the schedule includes workshops and seminars on;

Transitions - Career and Work Choices, Decisions and Shifts
Finding Focus
Creativity and Writing (Productivity and Blocks)
ME FIRST Coaching
Work-Life Balance and Symmetry
Career and Practice Transitions for attorneys
Career and Practice Transitions for doctors

Workshops are two or four sessions.
Seminars are one session.
For more information or to arrange a workshop or seminar for your business, group or school, or for individual coaching please call 646.468.0608.

For information on Parenting and Education Workshops please visit http://dailylifecoaching4kids.blogspot.com or call 646.468.0608

Enjoy the day,
RK

Coaching Question

I'm in the process of putting together short coaching modules on different topics for those of you who asked for short-term self-coaching programs. I'd love some input on which one/s you'd be interested in first.

Transition Coaching
Are you transitioning from one job to another?
Have you recently been downsized and are looking for work in the same/another area?
Are you shifting your work or practice focus from one area to another?
Are you graduating colleger or grad school and looking for a first job?
Are you shifting from one career to another?
Are you thinking about retirement within the next year or two?
Are you thinking about a working retirement?
Are you thinking about a productive/life shift retirement?

Work Management and Resolutions?
Do you want to make positive work and work style changes in attitude, productivity or goals?

Burnout
Are you feeling burnout and need strategies for getting out of it and staying out of it?

Work-Life Symmetry and Balance?
Are you overextended?
Are the boundaries between work and life completely blurred?
Are you working too much?
Are you working not enough?
Are you working from a home-office and need clearly defined boundaries?

Finding Focus
Do you want to identify, clarify and define your goals and directions?

Corporate or Executive Coaching for you or your staff?
Creative Blocks
Staring at a blank screen or canvas?

Time Management

Stress Management

Please let me know by sending an email with the topic you're most interested in the subject line. Feel free to write a short description of what's going on and how you'd like to move ahead.

Write to kiki at dailylifeconsulting dot com

Enjoy the day your way,
RK
Rebecca Kiki Weingarten M.Sc.Ed, MFA
Daily Life Consulting

Tighten Your Belt, Strengthen Your Mind - NY Times

Reat this article! Tighten Your Belt, Strengthen Your Mind It also answers the question/comment that many people have about how being coached in one area seems to improve their lives in other areas.

Pay attention to the part about how willpower can be learned and strengthened.

Enjoy the day your way,
RK
Rebecca Kiki Weingarten M.Sc.Ed, MFA
Daily Life Consulting

Ok - You asked and now for some answers + Info on ME FIRST (c) Coaching Materials

Thanks for your emails yesterday, I've read and responded to many of them. If I haven't gotten to yours yet please be patient and you should get a response today or tomorrow.

Lots of F train riders answered the call (re: yesterday's post) and thanks R.G. for the suggestion to have a coaching workshop on the Manhattan bound F train in the mornings. Hmmmm - the concept is interesting but I'm not sure it would work - how would we do that? Second car reserved for meet 'n greet and the third car for coaching workshop? Also, all that getting on and off the train might be distracting. Hey - maybe we can get the conducter involved and he could call out some directions and questions - but I digress.

Lots of questions about dealing with stress relating to the economic situation in the country in general, questions from people in finance who are concerned about layoffs in the sector, questions from boomers who were planning on retiring within the next 5 or 10 but may have to put that off, questions from creatives who are thinking starving artist and freelance might not be the way to go, questions from people who wanted to transition into different careers or areas but aren't sure this is the time to do it.

I also got requests for coaching materials.

Ok - some quick thoughts.
Keep your focus on your goals and direction.
If you're having trouble finding personal focus, do that now before you make a move.
If you can't make a change right now you can still figure out what you'd like your future to look like so you're ready to make the changes when the opportunity arises.
Don't panic.
I know you've heard it before but think of challenges as opportunities.
Write up a short list of what benefits you might be gaining by being exactly where you are right now. What's good about it? What's positive about it? What are you learning from it?

As for Coaching materials, I do provide proprietary coaching materials to my clients as part of their coaching process. They are exercises and workbooks that I've developed over my years of coaching (and include my teaching, program development and psychological, counseling and guidance training). The result is a full coaching system called ME FIRST Coaching (c) which will be available for sale later in the Spring.
But-
But-
But-
Since so many of you have been requesting some kick-start coaching materials what I'll do is put together a short version with some of the beginning exercises which will get you started. I'll work on a short version with different targeted topics and make those available soon.

Meanwhile - to those of you from around the country who sent in emails and questions - thanks! And to you Brooklynites - see you on the F train!

Enjoy the day your way,
RK
Rebecca Kiki Weingarten M.Sc.Ed, MFA (APA)
Daily Life Consulting

Ask For Help - A Little Can Go A Long Way

If you have a question or issue you'd like help with send me an email to kiki at daily life consulting dot com and if I can I'll try and post a response here. That's the very short answer to a lot of the questions I've gotten recently. If you're not ready for coaching (financially, time-wise or emotionally) you don't have to jump right in but you don't have to suffer either. I can't take it when people suffer or struggle through something. I know I can't solve all the world's problems but....so here's what it's all about.

People ask me all the time how I came to do the things I do. Short answer, I really love helping people live better lives. I love helping people live the lives they want to live.
I became a teacher in order to be the kind of teacher I wished I had had. Guidance and Counseling? I wanted to guide and counsel in the way I wished I'd been. Coordinating NYC Youth Services? I wanted children all over NYC to get the directed help and programs that they needed in the simplest and most efficient way possible, and hopefully set an example for other cities in the US to develop databases and systems to enable them to do the same.

Psychology and my mental health studies are a way of giving me more information to help me achieve my goal in helping others achieve theirs. The creative arts a whole other story. But back to Coaching.

Coaching is a combination of all of the above. Teaching, Guidance, Counseling, developing and creating programs to assist people in attaining their goals, guiding people toward services and programs that can enrich their lives.
I like to help people. It's my nature. It's a result of what I've seen people go through in life. It's just who I am. Really, don't apologize if you send an email or ask a question you need some assistance with. Sometimes I can just post a general answer.

For example - shout out to the young woman on the Brooklyn bound F train from Manhattan on Friday afternoon at about 4:30pm - it took everything I had not to go over and just give you a one shot coaching burst just to get you out of your funk!

Here's a young woman who is describing her life to some friends she hadn't seen in a while. She's now a lawyer and apparently gave up her dream of being involved in sports on some level. Her friends were shocked "but you looooooove sports....you were always so into it....I can't believe you're not doing anything sports-related."

So here's this young woman who probably killed herself to get through Law School and now she's miserable (you should have seen the body language and tone of voice). I couldn't take it but at the same time I didn't think it was appropriate to hand her my card or start giving her unasked for advice and guidance. (If you happen to read this - send me an email - there are lots of ways that you can incorporate the things you love into your life.)

So ask for help, even if all you need is to let someone know you feel like you might need it at some point. It might not sound like a "big issue" but if it's bugging you, that's big enough.

Send an email to me at kiki at daily life consultin dot com and put 'a little help needed' in the subject line and I'll try and respond as soon as I can either via email or as a blog post.

Enjoy the day your way,
RK
Rebecca Kiki Weingarten M.Sc.Ed, MFA
Daily Life Consulting

More On Goals

I received lots of emails and questions regarding the Goal Post that I posted earlier this week.

Lots of questions. Some specific. Some general. I'll free associate some thoughts I had and some of the discussions that have followed as a result.

Goal Posts: Wouldn't it be great if we had them clearly set out there?
Guide/Instruction Book: Ditto how terrific it would be to have one for each goal.

What do you think of when you hear the words "setting goals"?:
People have different reactions.
Some love setting them and just blasting forward.
Some people imagine how terrific they'll feel when they've achieved their goals. Some people think of the financial rewards.
Some people think about the emotional rewards.
Some people think about the intellectual rewards.
Some people think about the ego-gratification rewards.
Some people think of the look on their friends' faces at the reunion.
Some people become overwhelmed by the thought of all that goes into achieving them.
Some people immediately think about everything that can go wrong on the way.
Some people think about all the difficulties that will be involved.
Some people think of the sacrifices they may or may not want to make.
Some people have more than one goal.
Some people have goals that seem to conflict with one another.
Some people like to make charts to plan them out.
Some people like visual cues.
Some people like financial milestones.
Some people like emotional milestones.
Some people like intellectual milestones.
Some people like psychological milestones.
Some people like the idea of a good day's work.
Some people think there is no such thing as a "good" day at work.
On and on and on.

If it were simple and everyone knew exactly what they wanted and exactly how to get it everyone would be doing it already wouldn't they?
Something gets in the way.
Sometimes lots of things get in the way.

While mulling this over the image of a stagecoach came to mind. Maybe I'd seen 3:10 To Yuma that one time too many but there it was. Then I thought of those scenes where something's holding the stage up. The driver's got to get the wheels out of the mud, or the horses are skittish because they sense a storm a brewin'. Maybe the driver's got to dump some of the baggage on board because it's holding them back from moving forward. The next image I had was of the driver just jumping on those horses and driving on to his destination. In the timeless dialogue of old westerns - that yee-ha! moment.

Sometimes that's what the process is like. Figuring out where you want to get to.
Figuring out how to get there.
Overcoming obstacles along the way.
Developing the tools you need to get you there, sustain you and enable you to move forward on your own.
Finally taking the reins yourself and having your own yee-ha! moment and life.

(Remind me not to free-associate in the ether here. Sometimes I "do go on" as they say.)

Well anyway, hope this answers some of your questions and comments. If there's more information you'd like or to talk about this more please email me at rebecca at dailylifeconsulting dot com.

Enjoy the day - any which way,
RK
Rebecca Kiki Weingarten M.Sc.Ed, MFA (APA)
Daily Life Consulting

Workplace Harrassment - Bullying - When the Bully Sits in the Next Cubicle (or office)

Important and excellent article in today's NY Times When the Bully Sits in the Next Cubicle about harrassment and bullying at the workplace. I added "or office" because this kind of bullying goes on at the management level as well. I work with clients who have experienced it or who are experiencing it.

If you feel or think you're being harrassed do not minimize your thoughts or feelings about the matter. I say this from both sides of the coaching relationship.
I won't go into the details here on my personal experience but suffice it to say that it is really horrible. It is because of this that I am so compassionate and understanding when working with people at the highest level of management who come in for coaching to deal with the issue. Sometimes they think they're "imagining it", being "too sensitive", begin to "doubt their own capabilities", "feel paranoid", "feel depressed", "don't want to go to work in the morning" and more.

Coaching Tip: (and yes, I will shout this one)
DO NOT MINIMIZE WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH!!!
Check out the the survey developed by Researchers at the State University of New York in New Paltz of behaviors that can constitute bullying. If not addressed, and taken care of, the affects can be long lasting and can really damage your professional confidence and sense of self. Don't wait to take action. Speak to someone YOU TRUST either in your HR department, or find a coach or advisor who can help you get through it.

I was lucky that I had amazing support and the personal and professional training, experience and integrity to see what was going on. I also had the support of people higher up than those who were doing the bullying so that I was able to see the situation for what it was. As a firm believer of my own Boomerang theory, I knew it was inevitable that the people in question would get their just desserts. I did what was right for me in order to move forward successfully and was lucky enough to see that indeed what they had sent out into the world ricocheted and came right back to them.

For more information on the topic please feel free to email me at rebecca at dailylifeconsulting dot com.

Good Luck,
RK
Rebecca Kiki Weingarten M.Sc.Ed, MFA
Daily Life Consulting

Goals, Goal Setting, Anxiety, Achievement, Success - Shall I go on?

Clients are coming in with new ambitions, new ideas, new energy and ready to set and achieve new goals. Great news. Bad news? Thinking it can be done in a flash like everything else we've gotten used to doing with the press of a button or click of a mouse. One problem - we're not computers. So setting goals and achieving them can sometimes feel like it's taking time. Nowadays when things take time people can become frustrated, distracted, impatient. So let's look at this as humans and not machines.

Setting Goals. SETTING GOALS. Setting goals. Goal setting. "I want to set some goals."
"I want to achieve my goals."
"I can't seem to set goals."
"I can't seem to achieve my goals."
Questions and comments I hear all the time.

I have a question. What are goals?
I guess that begs an answer. Hmmmm. Well, goals are or can be;
Exciting
Thrilling
Fun
A pain
An adrenaline inducing concept
Elusive
Confusing
Conflicting
Multiple
Desired
Difficult to achieve
Easy to achieve
Easy to figure out
Difficult to figure out
Difficult to articulate
Easy to articulate
What one is expected to do
What one wants to do
What one needs to do
What society wants
What the family wants
What the soul wants
What the psyche wants
What the intellect wants
What the five senses want

How's that for a start?
Confusing? No kidding.
Maybe the dictionary can help us narrow it down. I went to Dictionary.com and received 10 responses to a request for a definition. Ok, they're confused too.

Some people start their coaching thinking they'd like to achieve x,y or z goal only to find as the coaching progresses that what they thought they wanted isn't actually what they really wanted.

So, if you're feeling confused or not sure, or don't know what you're thinking, or thinking you're not knowing what you're thinking, let me put your mind at ease.
You're not the only one.
You are not alone.
You don't have to do it on your own.
You don't have to have it figured out in one day or one session or one month.
It's an ongoing process that doesn't have to be written in stone.
You can change your mind.
You can have more than one goal.
You can have more than one goal at a time.
You can have multiple and/or conflicting goals.
It's a matter of working through it, figuring it out, getting it clear in your mind and self, taking steps to achieve it/them and overcoming challenges along the way.

You can do it.
You don't have to do it alone.
It can be done.

So now really have a great day your way,
RK

Rebecca Kiki Weingarten M.Sc.Ed, MFA
Daily Life Consulting
rebecca at dailylifeconsulting dot com

Decision Making - Keeping Your Cool - Re:Speed Secrets of a Racing Prodigy

I love speed racing (to watch, not participate in, although it was a childhood wish of mine to be a race car driver...ah yes...while most little girls were wishing for ballerina slippers I was wishing for race car helmets but that's all for another day...) where was I? Oh yes, that's one of the things that drew me to the article in the WSJ "Speed Secrets of a Racing Prodigy" about Lewis Hamilton. The article describes his racing with F1 which is Europe's Nascar but with some grueling differences.

What I found fascinating was the description of Hamilton's special skill and nerves of steel to "pass by braking - waiting longer than the other driver to hit the brake before entering a turn". The article by Darren Everson continues on to describe how he learned this special skill through preparation for it by working with Kerry Spackman, a neuroscientist employed by Hamilton's team. "Dr. Spackman tries to help drivers improve decision-making by getting them to feel a greater sense of calm." Fantastic!!! I'll say that again because the concept works in most areas of life.

"Dr. Spackman tries to help drivers improve decision-making by getting them to feel a greater sense of calm."

That's one of the goals of our coaching and one of the skills I work with clients on.
Hysteria, anxiety, stress levels, internal and interpersonal conflicts all impede our ability to make the best possible decisions at any given time.

Yes, there are people who make decisions best when under pressure but even under those circumstances they need (or have already) developed a way of maintaining internal calm that allows them to make the best decisions.

There are many ways and techniques of developing a greater sense of calmness when making decisions. Different people respond in different ways, but the goal remains the same. To stay as calm as possible in order to make the best decision possible.

Quick Tip: I worked with one client who just froze when he had to make on-the-spot decisions which was a BIG problem since his work involved many on-the-spot decisions which were crucial to his work. We worked together using a number of techniques but the one that he enjoyed the most and that worked for him was the old egg-timer technique.

I used one of those old-fangled egg-timers and set it in minute and then second increments. He was given a "problem" and had to come up with the answer/solution in the alloted time. At first even the simplest problems were impossible since it was the pressure that caused him to freeze. Eventually the time constraint wasn't a problem an he enjoyed beating the clock to come up with more and more complicated solutions.

Whatever works!

Enjoy the day your way,
RK
Rebecca Kiki Weingarten M.Sc.Ed, MFA (APA)
Daily Life Consulting

Why We're Powerless to Resist Grazing On Endless Web Data - Wall Street Journal (No Comment)

I so love this article in the Wall Street Journal - Why We're Powerless to Resist Grazing On Endless Web Data by Lee Gomes. For one thing it helps me understand myself and my clients better, for another it helped me decide once and for all to shut the "comments" function on these blogs. Most of you respond via email or during sessions so it never made much sense and now, well, it's just better all around.

What is it about information? I'm an information and knowledge junkie myself. I can't get enough of it. I love learning new things and figuring out solutions of all kinds. (That's now - don't ask about grade school and high school!) The article also points me in the direction of Irving Biederman, a neuroscientist at USC who studies the evolutionary and biological basis of the human need for information. How cool is that?

Quick Coaching Tip: Graze for information but try and control your intake. Don't overload. If you have a tendency to overload on information try and set a time limit for grazing with breaks in between for R&R (that doesn't include knowledge or information absorption!)

Career (Crisis) Short-Term Coaching - Some Info

Times are tough. That's the reality. It's hitting lots of people either directly or indirectly.

We've been getting lots of calls and emails from clients old and new, from early-career to mid-career to pre-retirement to "should I take the buyout/early retirement incentive?" to boomers to burnouts to layoffs and downsizing to professionals running their own practices to creatives all with issues they want and need to handle, resolve, figure out or strategize. This is the time many people come for some short-term coaching.

What is short-term coaching
Coaching, Guidance and Strategizing for a short period of time.

How long is short-term coaching?
The length of the coaching differs depending on the issues and concerns. It runs from 2 sessions to 8 sessions with different permutations depending on your needs.

* 2 session phone and/or email or face-to-face coaching
* 4 session phone and/or email or face-to-face coaching
* 6 session phone and/or email or face-to-face coaching
* 8 session phone and/or email or face-to-face coaching

Coaching areas include, but are not limited to-
Troubleshooting
Strategizing Options
Layoff/downsizing/early retirement next-step options
Burnout-but-have-to-stick-with-it-for-now management techniques
Executive coaching for dealing with a smaller staff and/or low morale
Productivity issues and incentive strategies for difficult times/situations
Stress management
Time management (especially for those who have to do more with less)

Good luck!
For more information email me at rebecca at dailylifeconsulting dot com
RK

Rebecca Kiki Weingarten M.Sc.Ed, MFA (member APA)
Daily Life Consulting

Putting Ideas To Work - Knowledge Management article - Wall Street Journal + Intro EtherThink Inc.

Yesterday's Wall Street Journal's Journal Report was about Technology and Knowledge Management. If you haven't read it, do it now. It's full of terrific articles with down to earth information and direction. One article in particular Putting Ideas to Work dovetailed with our Hi-Tech/Hi-Touch EtherThink Inc. which will be rolled out within the next few months. It's an addition and adjunct to our coaching programs for corporations, businesses, professions and individuals.

Basically EtherThink Inc. works with you to ask and answer these Hi-Tech/Hi-Touch questions and more.
How can I best communicate my(corporation/business/entertainment/media/personal) ideas, thoughts and information using the newest technologies?
Who is my audience?
How do they think?
How can I reach them using technology?
How can I translate my information to a technological language and medium?
How can I interact using the technology available?
The challenges of communicating using technology get more complicated as more becomes available.

Using training, education and experience in the Hi-Tech h arena as well as training, education and experience in the Hi-Touch areas of human development, education, mental health, psychology, educational programming and more EtherThink Inc. will assist you to combine, coordinate, translate and create ways of communicating using the latest technologies to reach your very human audience.

Is there information you'd like to transmit and for others to receive technologically? Information, entertainment, personal communication, educational or medical information, no matter what the information is there's a human at the end of the line. Who that human audience is, how they think, how they absorb and retain information, what are the best ways to reach them, what technologies are they using or will be in the future? EtherThink Inc. has been providing the service for educational, government, entertainment and media corporations for over a decade.

EtherThink Inc. is for you if you are a corporation, institution, educational institution, entertainment conglomerate, medical institution or private practitioner, art institution, parent, teacher, counselor, artist, writer or anyone who deals with those strangest of species...Humans.


We've been doing "Tech-Translation" projects for over a decade since the very dawn of the Internet (in caps) and we were trained by some of the creators and inventors of the medium itself. We were knee deep in it when no one even knew what it was. It was an odd time, imagine back in the early-mid '90s telling people they'd be shopping, communicating, entertaining themselves and more on their PCs and other even more portable devices. Yah. You get the picture - people were polite in that "there, there" kind of way.

We've consulted and developed people-friendly government, education, corporate, entertainment and media enterprises. We've "translated" some of the most difficult concepts to easy to understand information for individuals, professions and companies of all kinds. It's a part of the work we do. EtherThink Inc. is a way of articulating it, organizing it and making it an additional possibility for any of your technological needs.

EtherThink Inc. also works with individuals and media to develop content for children and young adults and to assist parents and others working with children to understand and bridge the digital divide with them. For more information on that area read yesterday's DailyLifeCoaching4Kids post.

Keep an electronic eye out for more information about EtherThink Inc.
For more information about EtherThink please contact me at rebecca at dailylifeconsulting dot com or Jill Evans at gtkgroup dot com

Rebecca Kiki Weingarten M.Sc.Ed, MFA (member APA)

Introducing ME FIRST COACHING (c)

It's here! It's here! Finally after years of research, projects, workshops, seminars, lectures, one-to-one coaching, group coaching, surveys and client input...
ME FIRST Coaching(c).

What is it?
ME FIRST COACHING(c) is a coaching system that enables you to assess your goals and attain them using the methods that work best for you.

What does ME FIRST COACHING (c)mean?
ME FIRST COACHING(c) is a coaching system that allows you to explore, identify and manage your options, set goals, strategize methods to achieve your goals. It also provides coaching and support to help you maintain and become comfortable with your new life.

What does ME FIRST (c) stand for?
It's an anacronym for Meaning, Expectations, Fun, Intellect, Reality, Satisfaction and Temperament.

Why ME FIRST(c)? You know when you're taking a flight and they give the demonstrations about what you need to do when putting on oxygen masks? They always say that people travelling with children should put on their own oxygen masks before putting it on the children. Why? Because if you run out of oxygen and pass out (or worse) you're certainly not going to be of any use to yourself the person/people you're travelling with.

It's the same thing in life down here. If you aren't taking care of yourself and you're "choking" on the things you're doing and not getting enough oxygen/strength/stamina/energy into your system, you won't be there for yourself or the people who need you.

Taking care of yourself and knowing what that means to you professionally, educationally and personally is a very generous thing to do for yourself and those you live and work with. Who can use ME FIRST COACHING(c)?
Anyone who wants to make a positive change in their lives.

How does ME FIRST COACHING(c)work?
ME FIRST COACHING(c) can be done through personal coaching, online coaching, group coaching or independent coaching. (The ME FIRST COACHING(c)workbook will be available soon.)

Where can I get information about ME FIRST COACHING(c)?
For more information contact me at rebecca at dailylifeconsulting dot com or Jill Evans (for corporate coaching and lectures) at jill at gtkgroup dot com


Learn how to enjoy the day your way,
RK

"But I'm Tooooooo OOOOOld" - Age is Subjective - Remembering Raime

I work with people of all ages. I mean all ages. DailyLifeCoaching4Kids is geared toward children Pre-K - 3rd grade and their parents. Daily Life Consulting clients range in age from College age through pre and post-retirement age. My professor/mentor Dr. Sackler who is an unbelievable role model is a psychoanalyst who continues to work at 90 at a profession she began studying and training for in her mid 50s, after a very successful first career as a Biogeneticist. So when clients say things like "I'm too old to start over" or "I would feel so old going back to school again" or "I'm too old to be thinking of that career, it's a dream I gave up long ago" I say "THINK AGAIN!". I truly believe you're never "too old" to start living the life you want to live.

Age is relative, it's subjective in that no one knows how long they've got. So every day is precious. The insurance charts may say that x is young and z is old but it all depends on a person's life span. Some people die young and some people live a long time.

I always think of that concept on March 6th when I think of a conversation about age that I had with Raime who was 20 at the time. The year is 1996, I'm in Silicon Alley and it's the pioneer days of the internet. We're at the beginning of something so exciting and unbelievable. It's clear to all of us how the world and our lives are about to change but most people look at us like we just landed from Mars. I'm freaking out about my birthday which is coming up in a couple of months. I'm saying the same kinds of things clients say to me now. "Why didn't I do this when I was in college?" "What am I thinking leaving something I've been doing for a couple of years to start something new?" "What am I thinking?" and all the other things you think about when you're shifting from your original plan.

I didn't necessarily think I was too old to be beginning, it was more of a societal female age-ist thing. Raime didn't really get why I was having those thoughts, chronologically it really didn't make any sense for me to be freaking out that way.
Looking back, it certainly didn't make any sense. Looking back and thinking about Raime it certainly didn't make any sense.

Raime was diagnosed with an advanced stage of cancer 2 months later and died a few months after that. She was 21 years old when she died. So at the time I had the conversation with her she was very, very old if you think of age as connected to mortality. Chronologically she was very very young. I think of her often and especially on March 6th. She was a sweet, good girl who died way too young. She was too young and too precious to be old at 21. Raime, you are missed.

So next time you have one of those "but I'm too old" thoughts I suggest that you "SNAP OUT OF IT" to quote one of my favorite movies Moonstruck.

As hokey as it sounds today really is the first day of the rest of your life. It can be the beginning of something new and letting go of the old stuff that just isn't working for the life you want to be leading.

Enjoy the day your way,
RK

Use Your Vote If You Can Vote Today! Vermont’s Outsized Influence

Ok - so I inform and instruct at times - what can I tell you? I'm a teacher by nature and training. On that note, those of you who are parents, teachers, counselors, coaches, or anyone else who lives or works with children and have asked about Daily Life Coaching 4 Kids - you might find today's post interesting. Check it out at DailyLifeCoaching4Kids.

Also - I must be honest and admit that I put "Vermont’s Outsized Influence" from the WSJ there because I'm from Vermont originally and loved the article title. What can I say? It's been that kind of day today.

Managing Options - The Advantages of Closing a Few Doors - NY Times

Interesting article The Advantages of Closing a Few Doors in today's New York Times. I like a lot of what it says, don't agree with all of it (my option to disagree) but find that it resonates with a lot of the work I do with clients. We call it "managing options".

It's hard to choose. It's harder in today's world with the vast amount of choices we have for everything and our access to them through media and technology. Barry Schwartz makes some great points on the topic in his book The Paradox of Choice. You can also hear him speak about it here at a TED lecture.

The topic of managing options comes up all the time. Whether it's about managing career options, education options, educational institution options, work-life balance options, executive and management options, transition options (and with Daily Life Coaching 4 Kids it's parenting, behavior, school and skills options).

How to choose? What to choose? Well, the first place we begin is by Finding Focus . When working with clients and groups the first task, which is more complicated and exacting then it sounds, is to find focus. That includes asking and answering questions about life and career directions, goals, outcomes, wishes, dreams, hopes, expectations and realities. Whew!

But (I'll say that again)
BUT the great thing about it is that after you find your personal focus it's so much easier to manage options. It doesn't feel so agonizing to close doors because it's not a matter of shutting out something and other options, as much as freeing up your energy, time, emotions, enthusiasm and willingness to move forward without being tied to the "what ifs" and "maybes". You're able to let go of the magnetic field of maybes and shoulds that keep you tethered to those doors.

If you've found focus and know clearly what you want you can work toward getting it.

So today ask yourself one simple question (I'll ask more later)
What do I want?

Feel free to send me your thoughts, ideas or questions or to find out more about finding your focus by emailing me at rebecca at dailylifeconsulting dot com.

Enjoy the day - your way,
RK

Rebecca Kiki Weingarten M.Sc.Ed, MFA
Daily Life Consulting

Taking Play Seriously - NY Times

I take play very, very seriously. Seriously seriously.

The NY Times magazine's cover story Taking Play Seriously by Robin Marantz Henig has prompted lots of conversation and questions. My answer to questions I've been getting from parents, educators and others who live and work with children - play on! Let the children play and better yet, play with them.

I won't go into all the educational, psychological, sociological, creative reasons there may be for my reasoning (way too long for a post). During sessions,workshops and classes with adults and children the element that is so glaringly missing from people's lives nowadays is play (with a capital P). I'm not talking about play for show, for someone else's benefit, "play" engaged in in order to talk about it at the watercooler or to post about on facebook, a blog or website. I mean the kind of play that rejuvenates and feeds you. Play for its own sake. Play for your sake. Whatever that is and no matter how old you are.

Think back to when you were a child - what kinds of activities made you breathless with excitement? What made you forget who you were and where you were? What made you feel strong and optimistic? What made you laugh and laugh?

Sure, as you get older your tastes change and fun means different things to you but some of the original elements and feeling states are still there and still exist inside you.

One of the first things I do when working with clients is to explore their loves. Then we work to include and incorporate as many of those elements as possible into their daily lives.


You CAN try this at home to get you started.

1. Answer these questions with the first thoughts that comes into your mind.
What do you love to do?
What adds joy to your life?
Who do you love being around?
What do you love seeing?
What do you love hearing?
What do you love tasting?
What do you love touching?
What do you love knowing?
What makes you feel alive?

2. Now, what can you add to your life today or tomorrow or this week to make your life more playful and enjoyable?

3. Do it.

Play. Have fun. I dare you.
RK

I Find the Confusion Confusing

Two issues that have been on my mind lately and manifest themselves in odd ways in people's lives, work lives and family lives.

Women, Men and Work. Two interesting articles address the topic. The Wall Street Journal article Top Executives Value Advice From a Spouse; Some Won't Ask for It by Carol Hymowitz discusses different partnership styles among executive couples. The New York Times Op-Ed When Women Rule by Nicholas D. Kristof discusses women leaders and the difficulties they face.

What's the big deal? Why is the issue of women in the workplace, in positions of power, decision makers and leaders such an issue? Why the talk? Debate? The best person for the job should do the job, regardless of gender, race or religion.

I was lucky enough to be raised in a family that was gender-blind when it came to accomplishments and abilities. I didn't even realize I might be subject to "ist" discrimination until grad school when a professor gave us an eye-opening assignment. It never dawned on me that being female might be cause for discrimination in the workplace. Needless to say I've gotten quite an education on that topic...

When I work with clients who have daughters they talk about how they want them to succeed, to be all they can be, to achieve and do great things. Why doesn't this show up in more actions regarding the world and the world of work?

The other issue that has come up often during the last few weeks is Heath Ledger, Depression with a capital "D" and depression with a small "d" as described in a terrific article in Scientific American Mind The Medicated Americans. Celebrities have been coming out of the woodwork and going into rehab in the last few weeks. People have been talking about the kinds of prescription medications they're on and how they've become a bit anxious about overmedicating. People seem more comfortable talking about meds then about getting other kinds of help.

Then there's the very disturbing (yet not surprising to me) research about young children suffering from post 9/11 trauma and PTSD. I hate to be right sometimes and this is one of those times, but after 9/11 when I was working on a joint NYC/NYS citywide Youth Programs initiative this was a major area of concern for me. I asked, suggested, encouraged anyone and everyone to get these children help. I won't even begin to discuss the "they're just children" and denial of the extent of the problem responses that I got - that was when people even wanted to discuss it. Or the shortsightedness about how long the effects of trauma of that sort can last. Last week friends and colleagues were sending me the articles "hey- isn't this what you were talking about way back when??...I remember you saying...." I wish I would have been wrong about this one.

I don't usually discuss issues of this kind here but there are times I just can't let things pass. Silence can be seen as agreement as the old saying goes.

For some odd reason many people walk around thinking that a state of constant happiness and excitement is the norm and any deviation from those feeling states is abnormal. In adults and children. So people run around trying to be happy all the time and quite frankly many of them talk to me about how exhausting that can be. People talk about their original attitudes If you don't deal with something it goes away. People are people, kids are kids, they won't remember, what do they know? They'll get over it. Best case scenario, great. But - what if? Are you willing to take that chance for yourself and the people you care about?

When working with clients one of the areas we work on is becoming able to handle the not-so-much-fun-exciting-terrific times that are an inevitable part of daily life, and live in general. Again, clients with children find that educating their children to be prepared to deal with setbacks enables them to be the best people they can be.

So be brave about what's bugging you. What gives you pause. What keeps you up at night. About the future you want for yourself and those you care about. Next, do something about it in a healthy, productive and constructive way.

Enjoy the day your way,
RK

THE GIANTS!!!! + What We Can Learning By Standing on the Shoulders of Giants

Was that a game? I mean was that a game or what???? It may actually have been one of the best games - ever? - and certainly one of the biggest surprise/upsets in NY sports history. It was nailbiting, adrenaline rushing, fun, exciting, hold-your-breath-until-the-last-second (literally). By the way was that the loooooooooongest second in sports history or what?

I've always been fascinated by the way that sports coaches get their teams to do their best. To win, to learn from defeat, to change and get better. I've read countless of tomes written by coaches and learn from their books, interviews and anything else they have to say on the matter. I think they're a great way to learn about how to handle daily life work and career issues. There's always something to be learned about how to set goals, how to train for the long and short term rewards, how to plan and how to get ahead.

This game was amazing. Here was a team who had a perfect streak, the Patriots, - but not perfect if they didn't win the Superbowl.... (a quick note - I do not mean to be disloyal to New England where I was born but as an almost life-long NY'er my loyalties are here.)Then there was the team that people didn't think were going to make it, the Giants. Did they listen? No. Did they let it get to them? No. Did they go out there and give it EVERYTHING they had? Yes. Did they beat expectations? YES. Did they win? YES. Are we giving them a great parade in the Canyon of Heroes? YES. Do they deserve it? YES. (Ok - I'll take my pom-poms off now and get back to the coaching aspect.)

My sister Rachel C. Weingarten(http://www.careerandcorporatecool.com) is an amazing author and marketing and pop-culture expert and she had some great things to say about the game and the coaching strategy and how it can be a great metaphor for anyone. In an article about Tom Coughlin's Management style
she talks about the beauty, brilliance and down-to-earth smarts of the strategy

"Furthermore, Coughlin and the Giants also did not repeat the errors that beat them in previous playoff games, said Rachel Weingarten, author of "Career and Corporate Cool."

"The Giants were a marvel in learning from past mistakes, particularly Manning and Coughlin, and not allowing popular opinion or predictions to sway their determination to win," she said.

Smart words about a smart coach and great team. It's never too late to change your tactics and remember to trust yourself and what you know you can do.

(If you're in NYC - go out and cheer our team on at the parade which is today at 11:00am)

Enjoy the day your way,
RK

Mid-Career Changes as Opportunity - Whether the Change is by Choice or Circumstance - 6P Coaching

It's tough to write about tough topics but tough times call for tough measures and let's see how many times I can use the word "tough" in one sentence...

I've been working with people who are in transition in their work lives. Some are doing this by choice and some are doing it because of circumstances they didn't choose. Call it anything you like but downsizing, lay-offs, restructuring and all the other words for it means that there are people who were used to doing one thing every day and suddenly they're not doing it anymore. Along with that can go a loss of financial and emotional security, sense of self-esteem and work ego. It all can bring up lots and lots of issues but the emotional impact can be lessened, and a sense of empowerment and potential attained if it's approached and dealt with in a proactive and positive way.

Transition Coaching and Mid-Career Coaching can be one of the most liberating and wonderful experiences of people's lives, even if they came to it under circumstances that weren't of their own choosing.

Jed G. got downsized from a job in a career that he'd been despising for the last couple of years. He was bored of the work, he didn't like the CEO of the company who was the person he reported to, he worked too many hours for his own liking and there were facets of his working personality that he'd wanted to explore but had never taken the time or opportunity to do so. Then he got downsized.

I'd worked with Jed a couple of years ago on some training programs for his team and company and throughout the years he'd called me in to do some short term coaching for his employees for team-building, stress-management, conflict resolution and project management so I was familiar with his work situation and the work style that he was used to.

Things were different now. First we had to work through the shock and all the other emotions that came along with his downsizing. Although he was lucky in that he received a good severance package he could not believe that this had happened to him. He'd been working for over 25 years, working his way up the corporate ladder and he was in total shock. Part 1.

After working through some of the initial issues brought on by the downsizing and keeping in mind that it's a process that goes through different emotional phases we began the work of looking at a new and different future for Jed.

"How do I know what I want to do? I've been doing the same thing for so many years I don't know what I want anymore. I wanted relief, and I got it but not the way I wanted it." That was what he said when we first started.

Enter 6P Coaching. (There are 7 steps but we'll focus on the first 6 for now).
For those of you who wanted to know some of the elements of rediscovering yourselves, you can try this at home and let me know how it goes. I use the system with clients all the time and it's a great tool. It allows people to articulate their likes and dislikes, to examine what's been working and what hasn't and to look toward the future in a new way. Whether they were actively seeking out a different and new future or whether life chose a new one for them.

1. Materials:

Use any organizational method that works for you. This can be a tactile exercise or an intellectual and technological one or a combination of all three, whatever works best for you.
I usually recommend file folders for the tactile part since it includes components like pictures, articles, ads, sometimes even food wrappers! Anything that conjures up a thought, like or dislike. Computerized systems also work for files and information.

2. The areas will be called
Priorities
Passions
Preferences
Perks
Promotions
We'll also add one called Passes which will contain anything that you DON'T want. Think of this as an Ugh, No Way, Never-In-A-Million-Years, or Don't-Even-Get-Me-Started folder. Anything that works for you to describe what you DON'T want.

3. Now Go! Write down and collect as many things as you can think of for each area. Fill the folders with words, pictures, songs, thoughts, anything that comes to mind. You can use magazines or newspaper articles, book reviews, movies. Look through trade magazines. If you see a movie or book ad or lecture series, anything can be relevant make a note of it or clip the reviews or outlines of any that resonate with you in one of the above ways.

4. Put it into the appropriate folder. For example; a place, or a feeling you'd like to have at a work situation, a skill you'd like to have, or something that you absolutely wouldn't want. A work situation or supervisor you read about. A work environment that you hear about or imagine.

What you're doing is articulating what works for you. If we were to do it in person or together we'd review and discuss the choices and analyze the patterns. Then the work of exploring new possibilities begins.

Combining this information with information we gather through the TIERS(c) (Temperament, Intellect, Expectations, Reality, Satisfaction) Coaching process we develop a solid picture with lots of information on what will work for you and sustain you professionally, financially, intellectually and emotionally as you move ahead to a new phase of your professional life. We then explore which possibilities will work and move ahead to get and achieve them.

In Jed's case he's always wanted to start a Non-Profit organization relating to a disability that his daughter has. We're working together to make that a reality for him.

Jed's initial reactions and experience of shock, dismay, fears, loss of self-esteem and sense of identity "this is who I've been for the last 27 years - who am I now?" have turned around and Jed said last week what I hear all the time from clients who have gone through the experience and worked their way through it "I never in a million years would have believed that I would think of being downsized as the best thing that could have ever happened to me!"

Good luck with the Priorities, Passions, Preferences, Perks, Promotions and Passes(c). If you have any questions or would like to send me some of your thoughts please feel free - I always love hearing from you.

Change is inevitable. Make the right changes for you.

Enjoy the day,
Rebecca "Kiki"

Weingarten's Theory of Readiness - When? How? Best Way To?

This post has been deleted as the copyright protected content has been used without permission or compensation.

Transitions and Tolerating

This post really is in answer to questions I've gotten over the last week regarding the mid-life crisis article post, the falling down professions post and the phrase I used in the Barnes and Noble post about tolerating negative feelings. They're all connected so I'll just dive right in.

Here are some of the questions -
"When is the right time to make a transition?"
"Am I too old/young to be feeling this way?"
"Am I too old/young to be making a career transition?" "HOW can I make the transition? It feels too difficult."
"I'm in the midst of making changes but having trouble dealing with my feelings about it, I'm not sure, I can't take the reactions of the people around me, I don't want to hurt anyone else by my actions."
"Maybe I AM a cliche but am I supposed to sacrifice myself and the rest of my life in order to keep on living the way I have and hating my career, life situations?"
"I'm in a career that I hate and would like to make a change but I need to keep working while I do it, it's getting harder and harder to get up in the morning..."
"Why do I feel guilty putting myself first and making a change that will make my life better?"
"What do you mean by 'tolerating negative feelings'"?
"What causes burnout or the desire for a change? Are there things that are 'normal' and those that are just silly and unrealistic?

I don't think anyone is ever "too old" or "too young" to be making a transition. If somehow one finds oneself in the wrong career or profession why wait any longer? Why spend any more time doing something you don't want to be doing and that is impacting negatively on your life? Here are a couple of examples of how the need and desire for a change can surface at any age. Clients who are making transitions in their
20s, 30s, 40s, 50s,60s, and yes - 70s, and an inspiring story from my 90 year old mentor who is still working!

T.N. is 28 and on the corporate track. He had it all planned out and was living out his plans. College, Grad School, a few years in the corporate world then on for an MBA which would lead him to the position that he wanted. All seemed to be going well on the surface, T and I began working together when he was researching MBA programs and realized that the life he thought he wanted was not actually the one he wants. What now? What next?

J.S. is 36 and a successful attorney. She recently had her first baby and took a 6 month maternity leave. She and her husband had agreed that she would go back to work after the 6 months since she's the primary earner in the family. She's ready to go back to work but her husband thinks she should take more time off to stay home with the baby. J.S. and I are working on different ways for her to work full time but spend some of that time at home as a compromise since she does want to spend more time with the baby than she thought she would when she was first planning her maternity leave.

A.D. is a 48 year old doctor with a thriving practice. A workaholic since high school, his studies and work served as a haven for him. He loves study, he loves work, he teaches at a teaching hospital and loves the interaction with the med students. During difficult times in his personal life his work was a way of getting away from all of it. He was able to concentrate fully on the needs of his patients and the work he loved. But during the last couple of years since his divorce he's found that his work doesn't provide him with the haven-like feelings it did. He wants more of a "life" for himself and that's causing him to feel more resentful at work.

H.B. is a 54 year old filmmaker. She loves her work but has been feeling and putting up with the age-ism and sexism in her industry for too long. It's making her hate the work atmosphere she finds herself in and resentful of her some of her colleagues and the system in a way that is impeding her ability to be creative and work.

V.L. is a 56 year old woman who is retiring from a career as a teacher. She wants to continue working in some area but not sure what or how.

B.R. at 64 was a successful business owner for most of his working life. It included working "all the time" and not spending as much time as he wanted to doing "the things I love" but now he's not even sure of what those things are anymore. He wants a working retirement but isn't sure how to structure it or how to fill the extra time he'll have.

T.D. is in his mid 70s and has been retired for a couple of years. He's gotten his second wind and decided he wants to become technologically savvy, use the internet and possibly write a blog/book about his life.

Then there's my 90 year old mentor/professor who told me last week about the new patients she's started working with! Yes. You heard that right.

Are any of these situations easy? No. Do they bring up uncomfortable feelings during the process of deciding to make a change and while making the change? Yes.

When it comes to feelings, let's face the fact that we all have them all the time. We like some and chase experiences that allow us to feel them. We dislike others and try and mostly try and avoid circumstances that will bring them up.

The point is to acknowledge the discomfort and not let it dictate the choices you make. If you're feeling uncomfortable about making a change or the process required to do it the point isn't to say "this isn't the right thing for me". The objective is to be aware of it, figure out what's causing it and make decisions based on what's best for your future and the future you want to have.

That means tolerating some negative feelings. They're just feelings. They're not in charge. You are. They can be a useful tool. You can include them to figure out what's working and not working. What you want and what you don't want. Which techniques work for you and which don't. Which changes work for you and which don't.

So when you're thinking of making a change.
* The first step is to work through what the right change will be for you NO MATTER HOW OLD you are.
* Then ask yourself what you're willing to do and feel in order to get it.

Enjoy the day,
RK