December Doldrums, Decisions and Dilemmas

Ok - I got emails asking if the New Year's Resolutions exercise below should be completed in one day or one weekend. Aaaaack! No - just thinking about doing it that way makes me feel overwhelmed. Slow and steady. Take it slow and steady. Making changes is a marathon not a sprint. Slooooooow and steady. At your own pace. (More on that later in this post.)

I also got some questions about how I developed the 5Ws approach and as I've said often, so much of what I learned about coaching I learned by teaching first grade. Break down the big picture and goals into small, easier to achieve pieces. Take it slow. Work at your own pace. Forgive yourself mistakes. If it doesn't work the first time, try it again. Practice. Practice. Practice. Celebrate your achievements and successes. It's so simple it actually works.

This time of year can be very tough. Lots to do. Lots of holiday cheer, which is great if you're feeling 100% cheerful but I've got to tell you that just about everyone I've been working with and coaching hasn't been feeling 100% cheerful. Mmmmmmm, let's say they haven't been feeling even 95% cheerful. All milestones, holidays and any other big
events bring with them mixed feelings. Tension as well as excitement. Happiness as
well as sadness and poignancy. Exuberance as well as apprehension. Many people get blindsided when they think it will be all good and they won't feel anything negative.

The best thing to do is acknowledge everything that's going on which will assist you in dealing with it all and getting through it well. If the holiday shopping scene makes you want to scream, if planning for the holidays makes you break out in a cold sweat, if there are people who you miss more around this time of year, if there are goals or milestones you would have liked to have achieved by now but haven't, if you're feeling burned out, stressed out, shaken down or just plain exhausted - take a breath and acknowledge it. It's the first step to making adjustments and feeling better.

We've been doing a lot of that here and as you can imagine, it's not always easy but it's always worthwhile and feels just terrific when achieved. People feel a sense of empowerment as opposed to feeling overwhelmed. In control as opposed to out of control.

A few quick tips.

* Leave yourself plenty of extra time to accomplish things.
Don't pencil in 60 minutes to do something that takes an hour for you to do. Figure an extra 15-20 minutes to account for human error, technological snafus, traffic or transportation snags, the sniffles or a bad mood.

* Don't expect perfection.
Things will go wrong - it's just the way it is. Do the best you can and give yourself credit for doing the best you can.

* Rethink your holiday celebrations and expectations.
Are you doing the same things you always do because you always do them? Sometimes that seems like the simple way to go about doing things but it might be time for a change. If you've changed then the same routines might not work for the new you. Make adjustments.

* Treat yourself well.
When you feel you're about to hit overload - stop what you're doing and take a breather. Pay attention to what happened and plan ahead so it doesn't happen again. Were you too tired? Did you take on too much responsibility? Were you spending too much time with people who set you off? Make adjustments.

* New Year's Resolutions - take it slow and steady.
Start by answering the first question in the 5Ws below Who, What, Where, When, Why. Who are you today and who would you like to be a year from now?
Think about health, intellectual endeavors, physical abilities, career goals, personal goals, relationship goals. Slowly. Don't do it all at once.


Do the best you can, the best way you can, this year. Forgive yourself for the things you wish you could do differently or better or more or.....and as always - enjoy the moments you can this year because quite simply, this year won't pass this way again....

Be good to yourself - email or post any questions or comments. I love hearing from you!

RK