Mind- A Crisis of Confidence for Masters of the Universe - NY Times

One good thing to come out of the current economic situation is the thinking about work related psychological and emotional issues that have always been around but not of great interest. Many people prefer to avoid thinking about the issues described by Richard A. Friedman in Mind - A Crisis of Confidence for Masters of the Universe but now it seems that it's touched so many lives that people are talking about it - out loud.

I stress "out loud" because these are issues that I/we've been dealing with for years here at DLC Executive and Career Consulting.
Things happen professionally and it can and often does affect a person's professional identity, emotional state, psychological state, interpersonal relationships, interests, goals and on and on.

It doesn't have to be fatal. The best thing a person can do is to reach out and ask for help as Dr. Friedman describes his patient doing - and as we've seen here. There are people trained to help, wanting to help and available to help but they/we can't help you unless you want it. So the first step is to reach out and get the help. Wherever and however you can. It's not worth getting physically sick over.

One thing though - I don't like the way Dr. Friedman asked if it's a gender based problem. The question is a problem in and of itself. Career identities and issues are not gender specific - to answer his question.

Anyway - you're not alone and you certainly don't have to be. If you're having difficulty dealing with the situation on your own and it's hard to see clearly through the fog and distress - reach out.

Good luck and have a good day,
Rebecca "Kiki"
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Rebecca "Kiki" Weingarten
DLC Executive and Career Consulting
For more information call 646.468.0608

What Do You Want To Do In Act II? American Society for Training and Development + In Act 2 of Life Doing What Matters (NY Times)

The American Society for Training and Development magazine's July issue features a terrific article by Paula Ketter Are You Ready for ACT II? It was my great pleasure to speak with Paula about the different ways to prepare for a new lifestyle after retirement.

I am so excited to be continuing to explore this topic with ASTD.org. On July 24th, with ASTD, I'll be doing a seminar “What Do You Want to Do in Act II?” will offer some thoughts, ideas and tips on making the transition from your conventional work life to whatever form of retirement you're planning on having, followed by a Q&A session. Judging by my clients I think we're going to have to retire the word retire and come up with another way of describing the kinds of ACT IIs that people are having. Stay tuned for more details on the seminar.

On a very related note, I was happy to see Jane Brody writing about the same issues in her column in yesterday's NY Times In Act 2 of Life, Doing Work That Matters
As always, her article was informative and loaded with information.

Retirement isn't what it used to be. It's a new stage of life with lots of OPTIONS and as many ways to approach it as there are people approaching it.

Using the work I've done with clients, research and my experience as a Program Developer and Trainer I've developed the OPTIONS(sm) system for planning for ACT II which I'll be talking about in more detail on July 24th with ASTD. I'm very much looking forward to it. Some of my greatest work inspirations have come from personal mentors who have made fantastic ACT II shifts. Although I'm at a different stage in my work life the lessons I've learned from them and my clients gives me a great perspective on transitions, and new beginnings. I look forward to sharing my experiences with them, my clients and the research that's being done on this exciting new way to embrace Act II (the stage previously known as retirement - maybe we should just call it !!

Please email or call form more info - I will be posting more about it here as well.

Enjoy the day your way!
Rebecca "Kiki"
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Daily Life Consulting
For more information on individual or group coaching, seminars, workshops, strategy development sessions, trainings or programs for your organization please call 646.468.0608 or email me at coach at dailylifeconsulting dot com or Eva Harris at eva at shoutoutpr dot com

Tighten Your Belt, Strengthen Your Mind - NY Times

Reat this article! Tighten Your Belt, Strengthen Your Mind It also answers the question/comment that many people have about how being coached in one area seems to improve their lives in other areas.

Pay attention to the part about how willpower can be learned and strengthened.

Enjoy the day your way,
RK
Rebecca Kiki Weingarten M.Sc.Ed, MFA
Daily Life Consulting

Workplace Harrassment - Bullying - When the Bully Sits in the Next Cubicle (or office)

Important and excellent article in today's NY Times When the Bully Sits in the Next Cubicle about harrassment and bullying at the workplace. I added "or office" because this kind of bullying goes on at the management level as well. I work with clients who have experienced it or who are experiencing it.

If you feel or think you're being harrassed do not minimize your thoughts or feelings about the matter. I say this from both sides of the coaching relationship.
I won't go into the details here on my personal experience but suffice it to say that it is really horrible. It is because of this that I am so compassionate and understanding when working with people at the highest level of management who come in for coaching to deal with the issue. Sometimes they think they're "imagining it", being "too sensitive", begin to "doubt their own capabilities", "feel paranoid", "feel depressed", "don't want to go to work in the morning" and more.

Coaching Tip: (and yes, I will shout this one)
DO NOT MINIMIZE WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH!!!
Check out the the survey developed by Researchers at the State University of New York in New Paltz of behaviors that can constitute bullying. If not addressed, and taken care of, the affects can be long lasting and can really damage your professional confidence and sense of self. Don't wait to take action. Speak to someone YOU TRUST either in your HR department, or find a coach or advisor who can help you get through it.

I was lucky that I had amazing support and the personal and professional training, experience and integrity to see what was going on. I also had the support of people higher up than those who were doing the bullying so that I was able to see the situation for what it was. As a firm believer of my own Boomerang theory, I knew it was inevitable that the people in question would get their just desserts. I did what was right for me in order to move forward successfully and was lucky enough to see that indeed what they had sent out into the world ricocheted and came right back to them.

For more information on the topic please feel free to email me at rebecca at dailylifeconsulting dot com.

Good Luck,
RK
Rebecca Kiki Weingarten M.Sc.Ed, MFA
Daily Life Consulting

Managing Options - The Advantages of Closing a Few Doors - NY Times

Interesting article The Advantages of Closing a Few Doors in today's New York Times. I like a lot of what it says, don't agree with all of it (my option to disagree) but find that it resonates with a lot of the work I do with clients. We call it "managing options".

It's hard to choose. It's harder in today's world with the vast amount of choices we have for everything and our access to them through media and technology. Barry Schwartz makes some great points on the topic in his book The Paradox of Choice. You can also hear him speak about it here at a TED lecture.

The topic of managing options comes up all the time. Whether it's about managing career options, education options, educational institution options, work-life balance options, executive and management options, transition options (and with Daily Life Coaching 4 Kids it's parenting, behavior, school and skills options).

How to choose? What to choose? Well, the first place we begin is by Finding Focus . When working with clients and groups the first task, which is more complicated and exacting then it sounds, is to find focus. That includes asking and answering questions about life and career directions, goals, outcomes, wishes, dreams, hopes, expectations and realities. Whew!

But (I'll say that again)
BUT the great thing about it is that after you find your personal focus it's so much easier to manage options. It doesn't feel so agonizing to close doors because it's not a matter of shutting out something and other options, as much as freeing up your energy, time, emotions, enthusiasm and willingness to move forward without being tied to the "what ifs" and "maybes". You're able to let go of the magnetic field of maybes and shoulds that keep you tethered to those doors.

If you've found focus and know clearly what you want you can work toward getting it.

So today ask yourself one simple question (I'll ask more later)
What do I want?

Feel free to send me your thoughts, ideas or questions or to find out more about finding your focus by emailing me at rebecca at dailylifeconsulting dot com.

Enjoy the day - your way,
RK

Rebecca Kiki Weingarten M.Sc.Ed, MFA
Daily Life Consulting

Taking Play Seriously - NY Times

I take play very, very seriously. Seriously seriously.

The NY Times magazine's cover story Taking Play Seriously by Robin Marantz Henig has prompted lots of conversation and questions. My answer to questions I've been getting from parents, educators and others who live and work with children - play on! Let the children play and better yet, play with them.

I won't go into all the educational, psychological, sociological, creative reasons there may be for my reasoning (way too long for a post). During sessions,workshops and classes with adults and children the element that is so glaringly missing from people's lives nowadays is play (with a capital P). I'm not talking about play for show, for someone else's benefit, "play" engaged in in order to talk about it at the watercooler or to post about on facebook, a blog or website. I mean the kind of play that rejuvenates and feeds you. Play for its own sake. Play for your sake. Whatever that is and no matter how old you are.

Think back to when you were a child - what kinds of activities made you breathless with excitement? What made you forget who you were and where you were? What made you feel strong and optimistic? What made you laugh and laugh?

Sure, as you get older your tastes change and fun means different things to you but some of the original elements and feeling states are still there and still exist inside you.

One of the first things I do when working with clients is to explore their loves. Then we work to include and incorporate as many of those elements as possible into their daily lives.


You CAN try this at home to get you started.

1. Answer these questions with the first thoughts that comes into your mind.
What do you love to do?
What adds joy to your life?
Who do you love being around?
What do you love seeing?
What do you love hearing?
What do you love tasting?
What do you love touching?
What do you love knowing?
What makes you feel alive?

2. Now, what can you add to your life today or tomorrow or this week to make your life more playful and enjoyable?

3. Do it.

Play. Have fun. I dare you.
RK