NY Times - Career Couch When Stress Flirts With Burnout

The blog/s will be moving to betterthinkagain.com soon but didn't want to let this one go by. Excellent article by Eilene Zimmerman in tomorrow's NY Times Career Couch column - and look for my comments as Rebecca Weingarten.

Career Couch
When Stress Flirts With Burnout

By EILENE ZIMMERMAN
Published: January 16, 2010

Q. You are a professional who is accustomed to stress, but all the uncertainty and anxiety in the workplace these days is putting you under more pressure than usual. You feel burned out — are you?

See you all soon on "Better Think Again" betterthinkagain.com soon (play on words intended)
Rebecca (Kiki)
http://www.dlcecc.com

Motivation and Transition Coaching + Starbucks

Who knew so many of you were at your computers yesterday? Thanks for the emails and texts and thanks even for the kind words about orneriness (is that a word?) - I guess there is a time and place for everything. Moving right along I will say that I am feeling blog-casual this week - I guess I'm having casual-blogdays so I'll just put a couple of thoughts into this one blog and call it a hot-humid-Wednesday-in-the-city day.


Motivation and Transition Coaching This blog (Kick-Start Self Coaching) will soon be renamed "Motivation and Transition Coaching"
since that's what most of the content here has been. We'll be finding new ether-homes for the other topic areas including EtherThink and the others.

Creativity and Writing Coaching information will be on a soon-to-be-launched blog/site called "The Dramatic Mind" (I'm a dramatist by training and personality - what can I say?).

Workshops and Seminars will continue for all the topic areas in the fall, along with Daily Life Coaching 4 Kids workshops, seminars and groups. I'm putting together some really exciting programs and materials and I am really really excited about it.

In response to some of your questions about the materials - short answer - Yes! The materials provided are proprietary. As a program developer and educator by training and experience they are based on the work I do with clients, along with new and emerging research in all the fields covered.

In addition, this coming year we will begin coach and program training for people in the field (coaches, teachers, therapists, trainers, educators, facilitators) who would like some additional training in ME FIRST(TM) Coaching, FINDING FOCUS(TM) and Transition Coaching. I will also be offering Coaching Workshops on Burnout and Stress, two areas that are coming up a great deal lately.

Speaking of workplace stress and transitions. To all Starbucks employees who are being shifted, downsized, laid off or any other term you'd like to use - I'd like to offer some assistance in the way of a quick-pick-me-up. Since you've provided us with the energy to get through some awful mornings/times I'd like to return the favor. A quick-pick-me-up coaching session to help you get back on your feet. Please contact us at coach at dailylifeconsulting (please put "Starbucks" in the subject line) and receive one Grande-Moving-Forward Coaching session for $25.00. Whether you're there part-time, full-time, first job, transition-job, retirement job, writing the great american novel job or love-the-smell-of-fresh-brewed-coffee job you're eligible.

So everyone. Onward and upward as I always say. And of course....
Enjoy the day your way,
Rebecca (Kiki)
*******************
Daily Life Consulting
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For more information about individual coaching, groups, workshops, seminars or talks, workshops and materials for your corporation, business or networking group please call 646.468.0608 or email coach at dailylifeconsulting dot com

Eyes Bloodshot, Doctors Vent Their Discontent - NY Times

Thanks Mark for emailing the article to me. I told you you're not alone!
Great article in today's NY Times Eyes Bloodshot, Doctors Vent Their Discontent . The title says it all.

For all those doctors out there, and those of you working with me, like I said to Mark you are not alone in your feelings of frustration, discontent (and on and on). The good news is that you can make changes in your lives. It doesn't mean "giving up" and it doesn't mean "failure" or a host of other words with negative connotations. It means change.

Quick Start Questions for today/this week;
* What is working? (besides you...)
* What isn't working? (besides everything else...)
* What do you see as obstacles to making changes?
* How badly do you want to make a change?
* What are you willing to do in order to make the change?

Feel free to send me your thoughts and concerns at kiki at dailylifeconsulting dot com.

Enjoy the day your way (start writing your own prescription for that!)
Rebecca (Kiki)
Daily Life Consulting
For more information on coaching, workshops, seminars, classes and materials for your group or company please call 646.468.0608 or email coach at dailylifeconsulting dot com

2-Session Turnaround (TM) Coaching

Many of you have been asking about our new 2-Session Turnaround(TM) Coaching What is it? How does it work? What's involved? What kinds of issues could I use it for?

I've also gotten questions about how and why I developed the 2-Session Turnaround(TM)Coaching Program. I'll answer that one first. In short - I wish I would have had this option when I was going through all the different phases of my career(s). If you read the topics I've included below I can tell you that I've gone through all of them myself. I've transitioned voluntarily and involuntarily. I've loved my work so much that I could barely sleep at night because I was so excited about the day to come. I've hated my work so much that there wasn't any amount of caffeine and sleep that could help me feel energized. I've loved some work situations but really couldn't stand the work environment. I've loved some work environments but couldn't stand the work involved. I've loved some bosses and really disliked others. I've loved some employees and really disliked others. I've been so burned out I was toast. I've been stressed. I've been unfocused. I've found focus. I've had to learn how to blend my creative life into the other parts of my life. I've had to learn how to manage work and life and synthesize the two to make life all it can be.

In short I've been there. Wherever. So when I work with clients and they talk about an issue, chances are there's a secret language and shorthand that we share. I've been there and worked through it. Now I want to help others do the same. As many people as I can because there is just no reason to feel miserable about work. There are too many other things in our lives that we can't control, why add to it?

I used my experience, my training in different areas and my skills as a program developer to develop the kinds of programs I wished I'd had when I needed them, and when I might need them in the future.

Make your life the best life it can be.

So here is some general information and if you'd like more details or information please feel free to call me at 646.468.0608 or email coach@dailylifeconsulting.com using "2-Session Turnaround" in the subject line.

Question:What is 2-Session Turnaround(TM) Coaching

Answer: 2-Session Turnaround(TM) Coaching is a very short term coaching solution to help you find some answers, direction, strategies and figure out what to do next.

Question: What kinds of issues could I work on in 2-Session Turnaround(TM) Coaching?

Answer: You name it!
Transitions - If you're making a job change for any reason whether voluntary or not, or if you'd like to explore options for making a change Transition Turnaround is for you.
Career and Work Choices and Shifts
Burnout
Stress Management
Time Management
Finding Focus - What do I want to be doing?
What Next? Are you at a crossroad in your life? Have you accomplished a goal and aren't sure what to do next? Are you contemplating the next phase of your career but aren't sure what that might be?
Creativity (Productivity and Blocks)
Writing (Productivity and Blocks)
ME FIRST (TM) Coaching
Work-Life Balance and Symmetry
Career and Focus Transitions for Writers
Career and Practice Transitions for Attorneys
Career and Practice Transitions for Doctors
Character and Script Analysis and Development
Question: How Does It Work?

Answer: 2-Session Turnaround(TM) Coaching takes place over the course of a month and works like this. It's very simple and straightforward.

*1 Coaching Session to begin the process.
*Follow-Up materials which match the area you're Turning Around.
*Email Communication available during weekday business hours for the two weeks until the next coaching session. These can be for questions, clarifications, yelps, "I did it!", "it worked!" or whatever you wish to communicate.
*2nd Coaching Session.
*More Follow-up Materials and Action Plan.
*Email Communication available during weekday business hours for the two weeks until the next coaching session. These can be for questions, clarifications, yelps, "I did it!", "it worked!" or whatever else you might wish to communicate.
*15 Minute Coaching follow-up session.

Very simple. 2-Session Turnaround(TM) Coaching gives you a chance to do just that. Find direction, discuss options with an objective, trained coach, discover new strategies and move ahead confidently. Please feel free to call or email with any questions or comments. (p)646.458.0608 or (e) coach at daily life consulting dot com (2-Session Turnaround in the subject line).

Enjoy the day your way,
RK
Rebecca Kiki Weingarten M.Sc.Ed, MFA
Daily Life Consulting

Coaching Question

I'm in the process of putting together short coaching modules on different topics for those of you who asked for short-term self-coaching programs. I'd love some input on which one/s you'd be interested in first.

Transition Coaching
Are you transitioning from one job to another?
Have you recently been downsized and are looking for work in the same/another area?
Are you shifting your work or practice focus from one area to another?
Are you graduating colleger or grad school and looking for a first job?
Are you shifting from one career to another?
Are you thinking about retirement within the next year or two?
Are you thinking about a working retirement?
Are you thinking about a productive/life shift retirement?

Work Management and Resolutions?
Do you want to make positive work and work style changes in attitude, productivity or goals?

Burnout
Are you feeling burnout and need strategies for getting out of it and staying out of it?

Work-Life Symmetry and Balance?
Are you overextended?
Are the boundaries between work and life completely blurred?
Are you working too much?
Are you working not enough?
Are you working from a home-office and need clearly defined boundaries?

Finding Focus
Do you want to identify, clarify and define your goals and directions?

Corporate or Executive Coaching for you or your staff?
Creative Blocks
Staring at a blank screen or canvas?

Time Management

Stress Management

Please let me know by sending an email with the topic you're most interested in the subject line. Feel free to write a short description of what's going on and how you'd like to move ahead.

Write to kiki at dailylifeconsulting dot com

Enjoy the day your way,
RK
Rebecca Kiki Weingarten M.Sc.Ed, MFA
Daily Life Consulting

Mid-Career Changes as Opportunity - Whether the Change is by Choice or Circumstance - 6P Coaching

It's tough to write about tough topics but tough times call for tough measures and let's see how many times I can use the word "tough" in one sentence...

I've been working with people who are in transition in their work lives. Some are doing this by choice and some are doing it because of circumstances they didn't choose. Call it anything you like but downsizing, lay-offs, restructuring and all the other words for it means that there are people who were used to doing one thing every day and suddenly they're not doing it anymore. Along with that can go a loss of financial and emotional security, sense of self-esteem and work ego. It all can bring up lots and lots of issues but the emotional impact can be lessened, and a sense of empowerment and potential attained if it's approached and dealt with in a proactive and positive way.

Transition Coaching and Mid-Career Coaching can be one of the most liberating and wonderful experiences of people's lives, even if they came to it under circumstances that weren't of their own choosing.

Jed G. got downsized from a job in a career that he'd been despising for the last couple of years. He was bored of the work, he didn't like the CEO of the company who was the person he reported to, he worked too many hours for his own liking and there were facets of his working personality that he'd wanted to explore but had never taken the time or opportunity to do so. Then he got downsized.

I'd worked with Jed a couple of years ago on some training programs for his team and company and throughout the years he'd called me in to do some short term coaching for his employees for team-building, stress-management, conflict resolution and project management so I was familiar with his work situation and the work style that he was used to.

Things were different now. First we had to work through the shock and all the other emotions that came along with his downsizing. Although he was lucky in that he received a good severance package he could not believe that this had happened to him. He'd been working for over 25 years, working his way up the corporate ladder and he was in total shock. Part 1.

After working through some of the initial issues brought on by the downsizing and keeping in mind that it's a process that goes through different emotional phases we began the work of looking at a new and different future for Jed.

"How do I know what I want to do? I've been doing the same thing for so many years I don't know what I want anymore. I wanted relief, and I got it but not the way I wanted it." That was what he said when we first started.

Enter 6P Coaching. (There are 7 steps but we'll focus on the first 6 for now).
For those of you who wanted to know some of the elements of rediscovering yourselves, you can try this at home and let me know how it goes. I use the system with clients all the time and it's a great tool. It allows people to articulate their likes and dislikes, to examine what's been working and what hasn't and to look toward the future in a new way. Whether they were actively seeking out a different and new future or whether life chose a new one for them.

1. Materials:

Use any organizational method that works for you. This can be a tactile exercise or an intellectual and technological one or a combination of all three, whatever works best for you.
I usually recommend file folders for the tactile part since it includes components like pictures, articles, ads, sometimes even food wrappers! Anything that conjures up a thought, like or dislike. Computerized systems also work for files and information.

2. The areas will be called
Priorities
Passions
Preferences
Perks
Promotions
We'll also add one called Passes which will contain anything that you DON'T want. Think of this as an Ugh, No Way, Never-In-A-Million-Years, or Don't-Even-Get-Me-Started folder. Anything that works for you to describe what you DON'T want.

3. Now Go! Write down and collect as many things as you can think of for each area. Fill the folders with words, pictures, songs, thoughts, anything that comes to mind. You can use magazines or newspaper articles, book reviews, movies. Look through trade magazines. If you see a movie or book ad or lecture series, anything can be relevant make a note of it or clip the reviews or outlines of any that resonate with you in one of the above ways.

4. Put it into the appropriate folder. For example; a place, or a feeling you'd like to have at a work situation, a skill you'd like to have, or something that you absolutely wouldn't want. A work situation or supervisor you read about. A work environment that you hear about or imagine.

What you're doing is articulating what works for you. If we were to do it in person or together we'd review and discuss the choices and analyze the patterns. Then the work of exploring new possibilities begins.

Combining this information with information we gather through the TIERS(c) (Temperament, Intellect, Expectations, Reality, Satisfaction) Coaching process we develop a solid picture with lots of information on what will work for you and sustain you professionally, financially, intellectually and emotionally as you move ahead to a new phase of your professional life. We then explore which possibilities will work and move ahead to get and achieve them.

In Jed's case he's always wanted to start a Non-Profit organization relating to a disability that his daughter has. We're working together to make that a reality for him.

Jed's initial reactions and experience of shock, dismay, fears, loss of self-esteem and sense of identity "this is who I've been for the last 27 years - who am I now?" have turned around and Jed said last week what I hear all the time from clients who have gone through the experience and worked their way through it "I never in a million years would have believed that I would think of being downsized as the best thing that could have ever happened to me!"

Good luck with the Priorities, Passions, Preferences, Perks, Promotions and Passes(c). If you have any questions or would like to send me some of your thoughts please feel free - I always love hearing from you.

Change is inevitable. Make the right changes for you.

Enjoy the day,
Rebecca "Kiki"

Transitions and Tolerating

This post really is in answer to questions I've gotten over the last week regarding the mid-life crisis article post, the falling down professions post and the phrase I used in the Barnes and Noble post about tolerating negative feelings. They're all connected so I'll just dive right in.

Here are some of the questions -
"When is the right time to make a transition?"
"Am I too old/young to be feeling this way?"
"Am I too old/young to be making a career transition?" "HOW can I make the transition? It feels too difficult."
"I'm in the midst of making changes but having trouble dealing with my feelings about it, I'm not sure, I can't take the reactions of the people around me, I don't want to hurt anyone else by my actions."
"Maybe I AM a cliche but am I supposed to sacrifice myself and the rest of my life in order to keep on living the way I have and hating my career, life situations?"
"I'm in a career that I hate and would like to make a change but I need to keep working while I do it, it's getting harder and harder to get up in the morning..."
"Why do I feel guilty putting myself first and making a change that will make my life better?"
"What do you mean by 'tolerating negative feelings'"?
"What causes burnout or the desire for a change? Are there things that are 'normal' and those that are just silly and unrealistic?

I don't think anyone is ever "too old" or "too young" to be making a transition. If somehow one finds oneself in the wrong career or profession why wait any longer? Why spend any more time doing something you don't want to be doing and that is impacting negatively on your life? Here are a couple of examples of how the need and desire for a change can surface at any age. Clients who are making transitions in their
20s, 30s, 40s, 50s,60s, and yes - 70s, and an inspiring story from my 90 year old mentor who is still working!

T.N. is 28 and on the corporate track. He had it all planned out and was living out his plans. College, Grad School, a few years in the corporate world then on for an MBA which would lead him to the position that he wanted. All seemed to be going well on the surface, T and I began working together when he was researching MBA programs and realized that the life he thought he wanted was not actually the one he wants. What now? What next?

J.S. is 36 and a successful attorney. She recently had her first baby and took a 6 month maternity leave. She and her husband had agreed that she would go back to work after the 6 months since she's the primary earner in the family. She's ready to go back to work but her husband thinks she should take more time off to stay home with the baby. J.S. and I are working on different ways for her to work full time but spend some of that time at home as a compromise since she does want to spend more time with the baby than she thought she would when she was first planning her maternity leave.

A.D. is a 48 year old doctor with a thriving practice. A workaholic since high school, his studies and work served as a haven for him. He loves study, he loves work, he teaches at a teaching hospital and loves the interaction with the med students. During difficult times in his personal life his work was a way of getting away from all of it. He was able to concentrate fully on the needs of his patients and the work he loved. But during the last couple of years since his divorce he's found that his work doesn't provide him with the haven-like feelings it did. He wants more of a "life" for himself and that's causing him to feel more resentful at work.

H.B. is a 54 year old filmmaker. She loves her work but has been feeling and putting up with the age-ism and sexism in her industry for too long. It's making her hate the work atmosphere she finds herself in and resentful of her some of her colleagues and the system in a way that is impeding her ability to be creative and work.

V.L. is a 56 year old woman who is retiring from a career as a teacher. She wants to continue working in some area but not sure what or how.

B.R. at 64 was a successful business owner for most of his working life. It included working "all the time" and not spending as much time as he wanted to doing "the things I love" but now he's not even sure of what those things are anymore. He wants a working retirement but isn't sure how to structure it or how to fill the extra time he'll have.

T.D. is in his mid 70s and has been retired for a couple of years. He's gotten his second wind and decided he wants to become technologically savvy, use the internet and possibly write a blog/book about his life.

Then there's my 90 year old mentor/professor who told me last week about the new patients she's started working with! Yes. You heard that right.

Are any of these situations easy? No. Do they bring up uncomfortable feelings during the process of deciding to make a change and while making the change? Yes.

When it comes to feelings, let's face the fact that we all have them all the time. We like some and chase experiences that allow us to feel them. We dislike others and try and mostly try and avoid circumstances that will bring them up.

The point is to acknowledge the discomfort and not let it dictate the choices you make. If you're feeling uncomfortable about making a change or the process required to do it the point isn't to say "this isn't the right thing for me". The objective is to be aware of it, figure out what's causing it and make decisions based on what's best for your future and the future you want to have.

That means tolerating some negative feelings. They're just feelings. They're not in charge. You are. They can be a useful tool. You can include them to figure out what's working and not working. What you want and what you don't want. Which techniques work for you and which don't. Which changes work for you and which don't.

So when you're thinking of making a change.
* The first step is to work through what the right change will be for you NO MATTER HOW OLD you are.
* Then ask yourself what you're willing to do and feel in order to get it.

Enjoy the day,
RK

A Welcoming Note - General Info and Answers to Questions

Hi to all and thanks for your emails, thoughts and questions!

During the last couple of weeks I've gotten an unprecendented amount of emails from many of you as well as visitors to the blog. Some of you I know as clients, workshop and seminar attendees or professional colleagues. Some of you are people I'm hearing from for the first time who've found me and the blog through a friend, article, the internet or just luck! So I just want to take a moment to say "hi" and tell you about Kick Start Self Coaching (http://kickstartselfcoaching.blogspot.com)

The blog originally started as a way for me to communicate with my clients. To answer questions that I've gotten from clients, workshop and seminar participants and others regarding issues that have come up, articles that I read that I think would be interesting and/or helpful. Some clients like to have contact between sessions and this was a way for them to "check in" and see what's going on besides their personal contact.

To the people who haven't yet met me it sounds like I can't possibly do all of these things but those who know me know that as annoying as that may make me sometimes(to some), I do. Simply, since I am interdisciplinary and multidisciplinary by training and experience (and temperament)in Education, Guidance and Counseling, Education and Government Program Development and Training, Mental Health, Writing, Drama, Creativity and Community Building and Organizing in Youth Development and Integration (a short bio is at http://www.dailylifeconsulting.com/kiki1.html) coaching areas include -
Transitions
Careers
Education
Work/Life Balance
Time Management/Stress Management
Burnout

On the Creativity front they include -
Writing
Writing Blocks
Unlocking Creative Blocks
Creativity Coaching
and Storytelling (character analysis, story analysis, script and story coaching and doctoring).

On the program front they include -
Finding Focus
Finding Focus/Career
Finding Focus/Career Transitions.
Finding Focus/Writing
Finding Focus/Creativity
Work/Life Symmetry
TIERS(c)Coaching (Temperament, Intellect, Expectations, Reality, Satisfaction
Work/Life Symmetry

The Daily Life Coaching 4 Kids http://dailylifecoaching4kids.blogspot.com and Running Snail Educational Consulting and Edutainment are pretty much what they sound like based on my education, training and experience in teaching,developing, creating and implementing programs and entertainment/edutainment for children.

Having said that, this week I got a lot of responses to the posts about the Falling Down Professions article in the NY Times and it's been great hearing from all of you. I have been thinking through program ideas directed specifically to these two professions - doctors and lawyers - and will keep you posted but in the meantime Transition Coaching or Burnout Coaching are two great options for you.

Meanwhile, keep your email questions and comments coming - I'm always happy and interested to hear from you. I'll answer them in as timely a manner as possible. During the week you can expect a 1-2 day response time, over the weekend it would be a longer response time - but I will answer.

Having said all that
No, I don't do it all at once.
No it didn't happen in an instant.
Yes. I love it. All the topics at different times.
Yes. It takes planning and training and being able to integrate and separate different areas.
Yes. I love hearing from you.
No. My current area of study is actually in a different, although related field.
Yes. I intend to keep on keepin' on.
And like I always tell people - so much of what I needed to know about coaching I learned by teaching first grade (not to mention non-english speaking immigrant first-graders). You take it one step at a time. You keep on trying until you get it right. You build from one experience to another and add to your knowledge bank. You ask lots of questions. You try new things. You fail. You try again. Then you start again with something else. You grow and you learn. You learn as you grow and you grow as you learn.

Have a great day,
Rebecca Kiki

Burnout!

Burnout. What a terrible situation to find yourself in. You started out doing something because you thought you'd love it/would be good at it/were born to do it/wanted to ____,_____, or ________ . Maybe you accomplished what you set out to do. Maybe you still want to continue doing it or maybe you've just stopped dead in your tracks and can't take ONE MORE SECOND of it. You're exhuasted, have no interest in an area that you used to love, can't get out of bed in the morning, dread it and/or anything connected to it.

Burnout can hit hard but there are steps you can take to prevent burnout, to energize yourself while in the midst of being burnt out yet still required to do the job that burnt you out, and ways to energize and get out of a burnout situation.

I had the great pleasure this week of doing a q&a session on a message board. The message board is for a profession that can have a high rate of burnout. Many of these people are small business owners/entrepeneurs, a role which requires inordinate amounts of work and work hours as well as intellectual involvement in the business. In short, it can be a 24/7 situation. I will add that they are an extremely smart and motivated bunch of people and I was interested to hear the kinds of issues they were dealing with and how I might be able to assist.

It was great! The questions came hard and fast and there were so many that I didn't get to finish all of them in the alloted time. As promised I answered the rest later in the day and will post them here.

Some of the issues that came up included life changes that cause burnout, behavioral habits that made it difficult to "just say no" to business requests which can lead to a work overload, ways to re-energize during the day/week/year, work-life balance when working from home, work-life balance when working from home and being primary caretaker of small children, work-life balance when work becomes a 24/7 proposition,
feelings of anxiety and the imposter syndrome when doing work that involves constant reinvention of one's self and one's craft.

I was energized when we were done and I had lots to think about, which I'll share here as I consolidate my thoughts on the issue. I'd like to thank everyone there who shared their questions and concerns and also to all of you who emailed after with thanks and kind thoughts and words. I always appreciate hearing from you!