More On Goals

I received lots of emails and questions regarding the Goal Post that I posted earlier this week.

Lots of questions. Some specific. Some general. I'll free associate some thoughts I had and some of the discussions that have followed as a result.

Goal Posts: Wouldn't it be great if we had them clearly set out there?
Guide/Instruction Book: Ditto how terrific it would be to have one for each goal.

What do you think of when you hear the words "setting goals"?:
People have different reactions.
Some love setting them and just blasting forward.
Some people imagine how terrific they'll feel when they've achieved their goals. Some people think of the financial rewards.
Some people think about the emotional rewards.
Some people think about the intellectual rewards.
Some people think about the ego-gratification rewards.
Some people think of the look on their friends' faces at the reunion.
Some people become overwhelmed by the thought of all that goes into achieving them.
Some people immediately think about everything that can go wrong on the way.
Some people think about all the difficulties that will be involved.
Some people think of the sacrifices they may or may not want to make.
Some people have more than one goal.
Some people have goals that seem to conflict with one another.
Some people like to make charts to plan them out.
Some people like visual cues.
Some people like financial milestones.
Some people like emotional milestones.
Some people like intellectual milestones.
Some people like psychological milestones.
Some people like the idea of a good day's work.
Some people think there is no such thing as a "good" day at work.
On and on and on.

If it were simple and everyone knew exactly what they wanted and exactly how to get it everyone would be doing it already wouldn't they?
Something gets in the way.
Sometimes lots of things get in the way.

While mulling this over the image of a stagecoach came to mind. Maybe I'd seen 3:10 To Yuma that one time too many but there it was. Then I thought of those scenes where something's holding the stage up. The driver's got to get the wheels out of the mud, or the horses are skittish because they sense a storm a brewin'. Maybe the driver's got to dump some of the baggage on board because it's holding them back from moving forward. The next image I had was of the driver just jumping on those horses and driving on to his destination. In the timeless dialogue of old westerns - that yee-ha! moment.

Sometimes that's what the process is like. Figuring out where you want to get to.
Figuring out how to get there.
Overcoming obstacles along the way.
Developing the tools you need to get you there, sustain you and enable you to move forward on your own.
Finally taking the reins yourself and having your own yee-ha! moment and life.

(Remind me not to free-associate in the ether here. Sometimes I "do go on" as they say.)

Well anyway, hope this answers some of your questions and comments. If there's more information you'd like or to talk about this more please email me at rebecca at dailylifeconsulting dot com.

Enjoy the day - any which way,
RK
Rebecca Kiki Weingarten M.Sc.Ed, MFA (APA)
Daily Life Consulting

Goals, Goal Setting, Anxiety, Achievement, Success - Shall I go on?

Clients are coming in with new ambitions, new ideas, new energy and ready to set and achieve new goals. Great news. Bad news? Thinking it can be done in a flash like everything else we've gotten used to doing with the press of a button or click of a mouse. One problem - we're not computers. So setting goals and achieving them can sometimes feel like it's taking time. Nowadays when things take time people can become frustrated, distracted, impatient. So let's look at this as humans and not machines.

Setting Goals. SETTING GOALS. Setting goals. Goal setting. "I want to set some goals."
"I want to achieve my goals."
"I can't seem to set goals."
"I can't seem to achieve my goals."
Questions and comments I hear all the time.

I have a question. What are goals?
I guess that begs an answer. Hmmmm. Well, goals are or can be;
Exciting
Thrilling
Fun
A pain
An adrenaline inducing concept
Elusive
Confusing
Conflicting
Multiple
Desired
Difficult to achieve
Easy to achieve
Easy to figure out
Difficult to figure out
Difficult to articulate
Easy to articulate
What one is expected to do
What one wants to do
What one needs to do
What society wants
What the family wants
What the soul wants
What the psyche wants
What the intellect wants
What the five senses want

How's that for a start?
Confusing? No kidding.
Maybe the dictionary can help us narrow it down. I went to Dictionary.com and received 10 responses to a request for a definition. Ok, they're confused too.

Some people start their coaching thinking they'd like to achieve x,y or z goal only to find as the coaching progresses that what they thought they wanted isn't actually what they really wanted.

So, if you're feeling confused or not sure, or don't know what you're thinking, or thinking you're not knowing what you're thinking, let me put your mind at ease.
You're not the only one.
You are not alone.
You don't have to do it on your own.
You don't have to have it figured out in one day or one session or one month.
It's an ongoing process that doesn't have to be written in stone.
You can change your mind.
You can have more than one goal.
You can have more than one goal at a time.
You can have multiple and/or conflicting goals.
It's a matter of working through it, figuring it out, getting it clear in your mind and self, taking steps to achieve it/them and overcoming challenges along the way.

You can do it.
You don't have to do it alone.
It can be done.

So now really have a great day your way,
RK

Rebecca Kiki Weingarten M.Sc.Ed, MFA
Daily Life Consulting
rebecca at dailylifeconsulting dot com